iStill Love You
by Foreverjathan
Summary: its been so long since Sam and Freddie broke up. Now, five years after, she's back into town. Along the way, she didn't expect to see him of all people after that night at the elevator. Is she really back for good? How will she manage to act around now that she's bound to be staying with Freddie and will be working with him too? Is there a chance for them to get back together? T/M
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: HEY, ITS ME AGAIN :)) this is another story I made up when I watched the iLoveYou. I'm pretty emotional when i watched it, a totally sob my poor seddie heart out. Anyhow, I hope you guys will enjoy this because I'm really proud of this and this is really made up of hardwork :) hihi.**_

_**If you guys have twitter and want to chit chat my username is itsLiLMissAnne :) i follow back, honest.**_

_**Disclaimer: I once owned it iCarly but Dan's sneaky and took it away from me. lol**_

_**ENJOY my lovely seddie people :D**_

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iStill Love You

chapter 1: HOME

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General Pov

Sam Puckett was going home for the first time in a year. She found it strange to call it home. She had lived in Seattle until she was eighteen and left for college and Los Angeles had been home since she was twenty-three. Now, she's back to Seattle because her boss where she work at a big network in America wants her to train aspiring future media people. She doesn't even know how on earth did she let them talked to her to actually fly back here - not that she doesn't want to - but being herself, she hates doing so much work especially when that work is to teach stupid people to act not stupid. That doesn't even make sense at all.

She looked up to the glass ceiling, where rain flowed like thick molasses. It makes her smile knowing it's always like this. It is what make Seattle special. It has crazy weathers.

"Oh my god, its you! Can I get an autograph?" Sam looked up to see a young girl, probably in her mid teens, looking at her like she's a freaking new bra or make-up.

"You listen to the show?" Sam asked.

"Like everyday! I also love your shows and movies...all of it. Especially that segment 'Radio Rebel'." Sam smiled. She didn't like that segment herself anymore, listening to people and their problems and then give advises of her own, she had introduced it when she first started that radio show, product of her own emotions bottled up inside her and is just waiting to be out in the open freely. It was surprisingly the first or second favourite bit of the audience - mostly teens. It just hit them hard, she's like digging up their emotions and feelings, like she knows what they had been through. The radio show talk about reality and feelings. Of course the radio manager loves it and has been an avid listener and fan since the beginning. She might not admit it verbally but she loves what she's been doing, how she touch people's hearts and lives with it.

"Thank you Ms. Sam" the girl said and smiled sweetly at her, gripping the paper with her own autograph like it's a sweepstake ticket. "The Radio Rebel" broadcasts throughout the country, it was the first radio show to be broadcasted live on television same on the radio, amd still Sam had to specify who the fans were asking for when she signed autographs. She still had the occasional iCarly fans come up to her, especially since she had come back to Seattle or even when she's in L.A.

As she look back at the splatter of rain, she remember the last time she had seen her bestfriend. It was when she has been forced to fly back for a thanksgiving party, Carly ,herself threw. She's still the same Carly Shay - petite, tall, pretty and preppy. She works as a journalist on some magazine, gossip magazine known in Seattle: Gee! Magazine. She's working as the editor-in-chief and she's been doing great. It's no surprise she's in some gossip magazine. It seems appropriate. No. It is appropriate for her.

She had seen Spencer also since she had been in Seattle last year. Sure, he's not living in Bushwell Plaza with his baby sister - he had moved three blocks away after Carly turned eighteen and has lived with his wife, Amy and two kids - he always manage to visit her very often. The last time Sam had heard Gibby was in Florida. Apparently, he continue his dream in running a food business and its now doing well.

And Freddie Benson...well, ironically, of all the people from her old life, Freddie is the one she has most connection with. They managed to keep in contact: E-mails, texts and phone calls. He even visited her in some of her tv show shootings and live airings in California which she happily appreciated but due to hectic schedule from both sides, they haven't managed to see each other for six whole months. He's still living in his old apartment in Bushwell. His mother remarried and moved (in her own will) to Ohio and Freddie himself was left alone in the apartment. He also directed films and according to Rick - the radio manager - would be big in Hollywood, except Freddie refused to go to L.A and prefered to make his own independent films in his home city, films that were well-received and made a great profit. She thought that what made him decide this is that he wants to show that he can do better by himself.

"But not as great as they would if he would just go to L.A." Rick said in disgust. She can't blame Rick though, she feels the same. Freddie will hit it off great if he just go.

"Can I get an autograph, ma'am?"

Sam looked up and found to be eye to eye with none other than Freddie himself, grinning down at her.

She blinked her eyes a few times. No, it was definitely him. He was holding out a small pad and pen.

"Radio show or iCarly?" she asked, taking the pad and pen from his hand.

"Either one works."

She look up to him after she signed. "Its been six months. I..I don't know what to say."

"How about an 'I miss you so so so much, Freddie' with hugs and kisses?" he said with smug look.

She roll her eyes at him and gave him a smirk herself.

"Don't push your luck, buddy."

"Eh, I tried." he smirk back. He studies her, a giddy feeling inside him."What are you doing here?"

"Why, is it a crime for someone who used to live in this city to be here because she feels like it?" she said in fake hurt and surprise.

"Now, now, Sam. Save the acting for the show. And anyways, you know what I mean. So, are you shooting for a movie or something?" he tilt his head to the side, waiting for my answer.

She roll her eyes again at him for the second time. Crossing her arms over her chest and let out a groan.

"I was assigned to train stupid interns. The network is looking for aspiring media crews who has the talent to actually be on the same boat as the others and they'll have the privilege to work on Hollywood...if they get lucky." she said the last part deadly in monotone.

"So, where are the said interns and where are you going to train them?"

"I'll be doing the whole teacher thing in Seattle University. I'm taking in charge of the Seniors, I believe."

They were both into each other, catching up, that they didn't notice that they had started walking out of the airport lobby.

"How 'bout you? What were you doing at the airport?"

"I just visited mom and Robert in Ohio. I just came out of the boarding hall when I spotted you."

She looked around them. 'When did we started walking?' she though as sh stand beside him at the airport parking lot.

She reach for her phone and look at the time. Its already half past two in the afternoon and it seems like the rain doesn't plan on stopping soon. She cursed under her breath as she remembers that she forgot to book on a hotel. He surveyed her, stopping himself from talking when he noticed that she seems distracted, pulling her pearphone which he might add is the latest model for pearphones this year.

"What do you mean there's no available-...Oh, c'mon! I need it. There probably at least one available...could you check again?..aww, thanks. bye." she tap her phone with a frown.

"What's the prob?"

She jumped a bit from her spot as she glance to him. She must've forgotten he was there with her.

"I forgot to book a room on a hotel and now, there's no available rooms. Its packed and I have no idea how and why! I mean, how many people travelled here? Its not even holiday yet." she mumble bitterly the last part, mentally slapping herself for being stupid to forgot to book a place for her to stay for who knows how long.

"Why do you need to book yourself in a hotel? You do know you can just stay with me at the apartment. I'm all by myself and Carly will be happy to know you're just a door away when she gets back from Spokane."

She looks at him stupidly. "Oh yeah." she though lamely. She mentally scold herself again for not thinking about it. It will be very convenient on her part to stay with him. Free food and no charge at all from the other expenses. Not that she can't pay for her hotel because she totally can with a career like hers, she can get everything she wants but of course, ho stupid can she get to pass such great opportunity, right?

She broke in relief and hug him - more like squeeze him between her luggages, knocking the wind out of his lungs due to the sudden action.

"I always knew you'll be a great use for anything, Benson. Its good that I kept you around all this time." she released him then punch him lightly on his arm then flash him her famous 'Puckett Smirk'.

The whole drive was consist with the usual banters, playful (and a bit painful) jabs and punches from Sam and lots and lots of take-outs that Sam insisted. She said that long hours in the airplane makes her hungry and you do not want Sam to be hungry in long hours because she can get too grumpy and it always result in something bad and horrible.

He carried her bags - two large luggages and one office suitcase - while she engulfed herself in a large beef jerky he bought for her when she made him go to the drive-through. He fish his keys out and kick the door open. He toss the keys on a large bowl sitting at the coffee table next to the big black couch. She stop herself in her tracks and look around. There's few changes about the furnitures, it consists mostly with black and white colors making it more manly but homey and cozy. The rests are the same as the old times. The pictures are still there, paintings hanging on the wall, vases and ornaments and other figurines. She thought that Marissa must've brought the other stuffs considering there were other that were missing, maybe the lady like designs.

"You can have the room across mine. I'll just bring your stuffs in there. I'll be back." he informed her and began disappearing on the hall.

The Benson apartment is no different with the Shay's but she guessed that it's a bit roomy and...clean. It must be the fact that Marissa or Freddie is no artist and there ar no sculptures at every corner of the house that gave the house more space. She always imagined Freddie's house to be like this..clean and manly. Two words that doesn't suit together when you're talking about a guy's house.

She heard footsteps getting closer and she turned to him.

"You picked the furnitures?"

"Uh..yeah. I want it to feel like mine. You know, a bit edgy."

"I like it." she said with a smile.

"Thanks. Well, honestly, I picked the whole theme from your house. All modern."

"Ah. So, that's why I feel all familiar with the designs."

"You want to sleep now? I already fix your room. There's nothing to fix much anyway in there. You can rest now."

She walks halfway but turn around and gave him a kiss on the cheek that definitely send his body burning and tingling.

"Thank you so much. As much as I hate to admit it, I owe you bigtime, Fredster." she pats his cheeks and wink at him before walking to her room. Once she was nowhere in sight, he place a hand on the spot were she kissed him and felt it burning. He must be looking like a fucking lame cartoon for grinning like an idiot to no one in particular, like he just one ten billion dollars and more. "Its worth more than ten billion dollars." he thought to himself.

Grinning all the way, he let himself sleep in a peaceful slumber, aching to reach and touch the blonde resting just across his room and he just can't wait to experience living with the love of his life for who knows how long but who's even counting. He'll make it worth it and something to cherish.

"Goodnight, Sam." he whisper to thee darken room and he drift to sleep.

Sam woke up as the sun shines brightly, coursing through her windows, as it peek over the bright blue curtains. Her eyes felt numb and her eyelids hurt to open. She reach her palms just above her eyes to cover the sunrays. She automatically sit up, stretching her arms and neck for awhile then holding her fingers to comb her wild blonde mane. She felt it tangle and she tried to untangle the few strands so that she look more presentable, not that she has someone inside the room to see her hair messy.

She push the white and blue comforter and turn to her side, placing her feet to the ground, enough for her to feel the black fluffy carpet just beneath her toes. She lets out a yawn and rub her sleepy eyes to adjust to her surroundings. She look up to the impressive work of art wall clock hanging on the walls. '8:00' she reads. She proceed to the bathroom to her right and start her morning ritual: shower, brush her teeth, straighten her curly hair and put some light make-up on. She went out of the bathroom only in a silky red robe she took from the bathroom rack next to the two fluffy white towels. Dragging her luggage, she zip it open and grab a pair of underwear. She decided to dress herself in a pink trouser and a floral frilly top and matched it with a bright green wedge.

She cleaned her luggage good, placing her clothes neatly inside the wooden cabinets and her shoes to the shelves below. She just brought three pairs of shoes: her bright green wedge, black dollshoes and bloody red pumps. She roll her luggage beside the cabinet and look through her office suitcase, pulling out a clear folder in a brown envelope, she reads her daily schedule. She read that this will be her first day to meet the interns and maybe give them a few backgrounds about her job. A faint knock cause her stop reading as the door knob starts to jingle and a deep voice was heard out the door.

"Sam? Are you awake now? I made breakfast. You may want to come out now and join me."

She push the clear folder back the brown envelope and place it on the bedside table.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll be there in a minute." she responded, patting her clothes neatly. She open the door and walk through the halls, examining the few decorations,pictures and pieces placed on the wooden side tables, putting some enhancement on the apple green walls. She hears shuffling in the kitchen and water running on the sink. She made her way towards the room and saw Freddie washing his hands and patting it dry on the clean towel. He grabs a plate full of eggs,waffles,ham and bacon strips. As he turned around he noticed her standing before the table. He gave her a smile as he place the plate on the table.

"Hey. Good morning."

"Morning." she said."Have you been awake all along?"

He motions for her to sit down across him and she happily oblige but curiosity still etched in her face.

"Yeah. Around six, I guess."

"Six? That's too early even for you. Why?"

"Well, I have to check on some editing stuffs for my film before I produce it locally." he informed her, pushing the plate of food towards her direction. "After I was done, I cooked breakfast. I know how tired you must be feeling right now so, I cooked enough food just for you. You know, coz you'll be needing a lot of energy."

She nod her head in understanding, looking around over the table. It seems like there's a visitor coming. It's a mini feast to be called just breakfast. She didn't hesitate to devour almost everything on the table - she actually saved some for the nub. After cleaning the plates, she lean back to her seat and pat her mouth clean using a napkin. He look at her in satisfaction and amusement.

"Wow. That's a lot of good stuffs, Benson. I think I'm full now."

"Obviously." he remarks."Anyways, so, are you going out now? You seemed pretty dressed up." he asked, eyeing her clothes with a hint of smirk.

"Yeah. I was scheduled to meet the interns today and maybe give them the first introductions before the real deals."

"I see."

Shockingly, Sam helped him clean the table as he washes the dishes, she even -gasp- offered to do it herself. After cleaning, she went to her room to grab her bag and stuffs. She was about to head out when she was jerked back by a hand on her forearm.

"I'll drive you to school." she raise an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head."Its okay. Its not like I'm busy or something. Besides, you don't have a car with you." he point out and he almost trip over his words. He hopes that she'll consider it. He shift his weight between his left and right leg, anticipating for her answer.

She shrug at him and nod."Okay." she simply said.

The drive to Seattle University wraps up in two hours or more if you get a chance to be stuck on a heavy traffic along the way. The drive is silent. Comfortable and cozy. She let herself be engulfed by the sight out in the window. She missed this. She didn't remember the few building being there. Its like she's travelling in a whole new city that once been her home in her childhood days. She felt a bit foreign.

Freddie push the button on his radio and it automatically turn to the radio channel he always listens to: 96.3 - her radio network. She tore her eyes away from the window as she hears the familiar sounds and voices. She look at the radio then to him. He doesn't need to ask what she's been looking at. He feels her gaze and he open his mouth for explanation.

"I always listen to your show and the rest. Did they replaced you with a new host while you're here?"

"Uh..yeah. They can't put the show on temporary hiatus because the fans disagreed and would like for it to continue. The problem is, they have to look for a temporary host to sit as Radio Rebel. I just hope it won't affect the show's ratings."

"But I thought there is a small network chain here in Seattle?"

"That one was been knocked down few years ago."

"Do you want to continue hosting it?"

"Of course I do but right now is not a good time. I can't fly back to L.A to host then fly back here again in Seattle to train interns, it'll be like making a fool outta myself."

He gave her a grimace and pat her knee. She look up and smile at him.

"Enough about me, nerd. How you doing? Are you making new films?"

"Well, I am thinking on it yet. I'm plotting to what the film should be about."

"Want me to help?" He lightly step on the breaks as they arrive on a red light. He finally turn to her.

"What?"

"I'm just saying. I mean, c'mon, it's a great opportunity for you to be helped by one of the awesome film director in Hollywood, dude."

"Trust me. Its my pleasure to work with you but...are you sure? You haven't done any independent film in your life. Its no good as the films you've done."

"Uh..are you trying to imply that I'm stupid for even asking you for my help? Well, newsflash, Benson. I've seen my other friend directors make and produce indie films like yours and I'm pretty familiar on how it works." she said with a tone taking a bit offencement in her part.

"Look. I didn't mean it that way, Sam. I'm just saying that you're a bigtime film maker and I don't think you will like to waste your time on something that is not an easy win-win."

"And I'm telling you too, Fredgeek. I'll be happy to help you if that gives me a oppurtunity to rub it on your face that you're a loser." he chuckle at this. Of course, she always finds a way to embarrass him even when they're already twenty-three. Its Sam Puckett anyway, what does he expect?

"You really haven't changed a bit, huh? You're still calling me names and tormenting me. The thing is, you just found a new and improve way to do it that gives you more to bargain while you're at it." he said in amusement. He made a u-turn whilst glancing back at her to see her reaction which held a very impressive and famous Sam smirk and glint in her eyes.

"What? Are you expecting me to hold back on my game? C'mon, Freddie. You know me better than that. Momma will always be a bully to you even if we're too old for it."

"Of course, you do." he laugh, shaking his head."Alright. I'm taking up your offer. Like you've said. It's a luck for me to work with the awesome film maker like you. After you finish meeting them, I'll pick you up and we can visit my office."

"Office?"

"Yeah. It's where I work with my people."

"How come I didn't know 'bout that?"

"Because I haven't been in the place to brag about it. Its no big deal. And if you're working with me-"

"Uh..no! You're going to work for me. I'm the boss here."

"Fine. Have it your way, princess."

"Thank you."

"Okay, as I was saying, I want you to at least meet the people that you'll be working with for the rest of the film."

"Seems fine to me."

"Good." he pull the break and stop on the curb."Here we are. Call me."

She look out and seem surprised to know that they got there pretty fast for her liking. She turn to him and kiss his cheeks making him blush 10x worst.

"Thanks for the ride. See you later, Benson."

"You too." he said in daze form. He watch her laugh a little and close the car door behind her and wave at him as she walk towards the main building of the university.

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_**REVIEW PLEASE. i definitely need it to upgrade my story writing :) you guys can count that i'll update as soon as possible. maybe later :)) lovelotssss ;p**_


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer: iCarly is really mine, Dan just took it away from me. It is first titled iSEddie. don't belive me? well, i don't belive myself too ;p**

**anyhow...ENJOY reading :)))**

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**iStill Love You**

**Sam's Pov**

I feel myself grinning as I walk towards the school hall. It just feel like the old times. I love how I have this effect on Freddie. When I kissed him on the cheeks in the airport and in the car, I fight the urge to actually just grab his face and smash my lips on his. I ache for his touch. I ache for his kisses and smiles that is just reserve for me.

All this time I still love him. My heart still beats for only one person. One guy. One name. Freddie Benson. He's still the guy that I crave to yearn. He's the person I want to be with. Seeing him makes me feel all the pain of what happened that night. The whole break up is still vivid in my mind. I hate seeing him and not be able to say how much I love him like we used to. I hope that he still feels the same strong love like I do but I know its hard to believe. Its been so long. I doubt he never dated anyone in those years and it makes my heart pound painstakingly. Its like stomping and beating inside me and making my stomach churn and all I could think of is to throw up over and over again just to take my mind off the idea and for me to barf all the unnecessary thoughts in my mind.

I was jerked away from my thoughts when I collided with someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I apologized repeatedly.

"Its okay." a very deep man voice responded. I look up and was faced to a big chubby man in a grey tux, square glasses dangling between his eyes. He has this big round stomach and puffy cheeks. He's wearing a very warm smile and I can't help but smile back.

I tore my gaze at him and offer my hand to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm Sam. Sam Puckett."

The man's grey eyes light up and he smiles widely.

"Ah! Of course. Samantha Puckett. Ms. Radio Rebel." he nods."Yes. Yes. I'm Mr. Harry Smith. I'm the principal. I've been waiting for your arrival."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Smith."

"Oh. Call me Harry. Shall I walk you to my office, huh?"

I just nod and I followed him. We walk to this big office beside the administrations. He motions for me to sit on the couch across to the big armchair he plant himself.

"Mr. Curtis already called and informed me about your arrival yesterday. I am very honored and pleased that you have chosen our university to train our students and hopefully have the chance to be working on the network."

"The pleasure is mine, Harry." I said. I don't know what to say. I'm actually ready to act rude and let him know that I don't even want to be here but...but this man. He's so warm. I mean, he looks too sweet and kind and he wore that friendly smile. Ugh! "I'm also happy to teach these students about the wonders of my career."

He smile and nod thoughtfully. He place his big hands on his belly and lean back.

"I broke the news to the students after I was informed. They are very excited. You got many fans here actually. So, I know that you won't have any trouble teaching them. They're fast learners."

"Its good."

"I'll just talk to the prof. sitting in right now and tell them you're here then I can walk you there. Good?"

I nod and watch him stand up, slowly. I almost feel like I want to help him because he looks like he's having trouble with a lot of weight. I wince we stumble a bit but I act like I didn't notice him. He walk towards his office desk and grab a mic that connects to the intercom. He glance to me and wave. I gave him a thumbs up. I don't know why I did it. I guess I just have nothing to say besides I really didn't planned to be here in the first place but c'mon, I'm already here and nothing to do but do as they say.

He tap the button off and walk to me.

"Let's go and meet the students."

I nod. Again. I guess that its all I've done since I got here. Nod, smile and answer in polite simple words. I really am happy to be here. Notice the sarcasm people.

I was led inside a big auditorium. I thought we were going in a classroom? The lady in her mid-40s approached us and gave me a hug. Why is everyone here being sweet and kind. How can I be mean to these people?

"Sam Puckett." she said my name like it's some precious queen's name. Wow. I feel royalty."We've been expecting you. The students are ecstatic."

I didn't notice that they started leading me on a stage and I was now facing students. Senior students. Boys and Girls. Its like there are 40 people here. How can they expect me to handle them? I can barely handle a two!

All of them are staring at me with glint in their eyes, mouth agape. I guess they're starstruck and a bit amused to see me. I began to feel nervous. One thing Sam Puckett hates is being nervous because I hate to make a fool out of myself. I don't wanna mess this up.

I glance to my side and was handed a wireless microphone. Smith and the lady-I-forgot-the-dang-name ushers me to speak. I clutch the microphone between my hands and I took a deep breath.

"Hey." Wow, way to start an orientation Sam."Uh...I'm Sam Puckett. Of course I'm very well informed that you guys know me already. I'm Radio Rebel off 96.3 fm every night. I'm a film director/maker/producer and writer. Harry already told me that you guys are certainly aware why on earth I'm here and being stupid and nervous." I frankly said and much to my luck, they chuckle whilst nodding. At least, it ease my nervousness and my confident is coming back full force."I'll be teaching you guys about more of my job. There will be..maybe 20 or more lucky interns to be chosen to fly back with me in L.A, that is, if you all are capable of handling me. I will not go soft on you guys and I mean business here. So, I expect cooperation and not stupidness. I'm a very busy person, have a lot a work, so I don't like wasting precious time on such morons. Do i get myself clear?" I said in a straight face looking as serious and intimidating as possible. They all nod feverently and I look over to Harry and the lady and they looked scared and satisfied.

I grin widely when I saw that some who act all tough are shuddering. Mama loves seeing people all weakling. The orientation, so far, is successful. There is this Powerpoint presentation for me to help me explain easily. I'm glad nobody is a pain in the ass. They seem disciplined so, I don't have to break some bones. That'll be bad. I feel exhausted, maybe because I have to handle 40 senior students. I already texted Freddie to come and pick me up. I received a text from him seconds ago saying he's on his way. I decided to sit on those wooden benches outside while I wait for him. I feel relaxed as the warm breeze of summer air hit my face. Trees, grasses and flowers dance gracefully. It looks all calm. I kinda missed L.A but its great here also. Good thing it wasn't raining or it'll be bad for me.

I had my eyes closed as I heard footsteps coming towards my spot. I didn't move and just shrug off the sound. It stopped and I feel presence beside me.

"Tired?"

I don't need to open my eyes to know who's bursting my personal bubble here.

"A little. I had to handle 40 senior student interns in there. You know I threatened them before. Just so that they won't be playing around."

"I guess that's expected for you to threatened them..but 40? Seriously? That's a lot to handle."

"No chiz. I have to meet them every other day. I just want to sit here and relax for awhile. Can we do that?"

"Of course, Sam. We can do that." his words brought calmness and I feel safe with him beside me.

I don't know how long we are sitting there, just listening to the birds chirping, leaves rustling through the grounds, trees making 'swoosh' sounds and feeling the air swept around us, tickling us with its warm calming breeze. I watch him as he look at his phone that vibrates signalling he got a message.

"They're already looking for us?" I asked shyly.

"Huh?" he chuck his phone back his pocket and fix his gaze back up to me."Uh..yeah but its cool."

"Nah. C'mon. Let's go." I stand up and motion for him to do the same.

"Its okay, Sam. We don't need to rush."

"Yes, we do. Are you gonna stand up or i'll have to drag your nubby ass to the car?" I demand with a threat.

I saw him look at me with a smirk and shake his head in wonderment. He stand up and we both walk towards his SUV.

We arrived to this five storey office building. I sat there in the passenger seat, looking out the window as the sunrays shines towards the building making it shine before my eyes.

"It's not as big as your office in L.A." he said as he stood there with the door on my side opened.

"It looks great." I said honestly whilst looking around the building. The building is, what he said, not as big as our office in L.A but like what I said also, its great. There are leather chairs and couch in the side beside the windows. A big shiny chandelier hangs on the ceiling, just at the center of the spiral stairs. Soon enough, we reached this medium sized room that I believe is the conference room. Of course we also have one like this but 2x bigger.

"Have a seat. They'll be here in a few." he motion for me to sit to his right. There are folders and binders already set on each set of table. He look inside it as if studying. I felt curious but decided not to look yet.

Few minutes passed and group of people started to come in. They stopped just before the rectangular table to gape at me. Guess they know me. It felt awkward and I choose to wave weakly to them. I heard Freddie chuckle behind me but I didn't turn around. Actually, seeing these people look at me like that kinda entertains me but annoys me a bit.

Freddie clears his throat to catch their attention. They all look up to him then back at me as if asking what the hell am I doing here.

"I believe we are running out of time. So, could all of you please take a seat. I'll explain everything once you are all seated and ready."

They all took their seats. Some gulp their water never taking their eyes off of me. I rolled my eyes irritatingly and shot Freddie a look that clearly means I'm pissed.

"Alright." Freddie caught my look and wince a bit."So, we are all aware who this lady is." I scoff and he glare at me."Anyways, I'll introduce her again and why she's here. This is Sam Puckett. Famously known as Radio Rebel on the hit tv/radio show in Hollywood and clearly in America. She's actually my...uh.."he stutters a bit and glancing at me with a nervous expression plastered on his face. I knew why. I bit my lip and nod faintly."She's my...one of my bestfriend and my..." I gulp. If it wasn't awkward at first then now it is."My colleague. She's here to train Senior interns in Seattle University and now, she's here because she offered to help us to make yet,another independent film."

They all look at me with wide eyes as if not believing in their ears. I smile for the first time but for me, it seems like a fake one..almost a grimace.

"Hey."

Freddie obviously can sense the awkwardness on my part so he immediately speak again and began discussing his ideas on the film. He let me speak also and ask for my approval or confirmation if his ideas sounds better. The crews finally stopped gaping and focused on their project in hand. I honestly like his plotting and the exchange of ideas in the group. Freddie is really a genius and its no doubt he make decent money making films on his own. Sure he isn't creative but he uses much more than just creativity.

The meeting finished just before late noon. People starts rushing out but not before gushing over me then asking me few questions and complimenting my works. Its normal for me to have this kind of people cornering and such. Its great at first, the fame but after having to experience this always is sickening and irritating to the bone. Good thing, Freddie shoo them away and felt relieved. He gave me an apologetic look and I thank him in my eyes.

We left the conference room and moved to his office. Its not big..its half of my office in L.A. There are paintings and few framed newspapers that shows his own films and articles. There is a visitor area inside, a big four seater black leather couch and four black leather chairs on the side of a rectangle glass table. A figurine sat on top of it and a few classy candles. Across the visitor's area is another table. His office table with same black leather armchairs across the office table. A Flatscreen computer and piles of paperworks were on his table. I made myself comfortable on his own leather office chair. I lean back and spin it myself.

"So, what do you think?"

"Huh?"

"My office. The building and my crews."

"Your office is cozy..not big but good enough. Your crews...makes me want to punch 'em at first but they seem good." I answered whilst messing with his computer. I sat there stunned as I look at his wallpaper: it's a picture of the two of us in L.A and its one of my favorite. I had a copy of it but I didn't know that he made it as his desktop wallpaper. He didn't noticed me as he was busy checking his phone. I began to turn it off but then I accidentally nudge a picture frame that sits on the side of the computer. I pick it up to fix it and again, I felt thousands of butterflies inside my stomach. It was a picture of me, back when we were dating. I remember him taking this photo of me when we were hanging at his apartment on time. I was smiling at the camera or more like smiling at him.

I almost drop it when his voice rang through me.

"Hey, are you alright?" his voice filled with concern as he began walking towards me."What's wrong-oh..uh..I.." he stop mid-sentence when his eyes landed on his open computer, our picture popping and the picture frame in my hand. He look at me nervously. Opening and closing his mouth as if he was trying to come up with an explanation.

"Why...why?" I tried to asked further but all I can say is a freaking **WHY?**

"I don't know how to explain all of this to you. You must think i'm creepy now." he said in shame.

My eyes darted back to his computer and the frame then to him. My eyes soften and I can't help but grin inwardly. Why does he have all of this? Does this mean something?

"We both now you're creepy way back in the past when you started looking through your peephole just to stalk Carly." I smirk trying to ease the awkwardness and c'mon. I love embarrassing him.

"Geez, thanks for bringing that up." he said sarcastically.

"Oh,you know me. Always here to serve you my good 'ol nubby." I said, easing the tension building thickly in the air.

I bit my lip, looking for words to say next.

"I look good here." I point to the frame.

"Yeah. So beautiful." he said a bit dreamy. I guess he is not supposed to say it out loud bu he did. As soon as he realized what he said, his eyes widen."Uh...I..uh.."

I laugh at him. I miss making him stutter and squirming. He's such a dork. He saw me laugh and he narrow his eyes at me then roll it. He shook his head and fix the frame's position.

"You're completely enjoying this."

"Oh, c'mon! You know your humiliation brings joy to my life." I said between fits of laugh.

We went back to his apartment, not daring to mention the _incident _that just happened in his office that afternoon. He made us both spaghetti for dinner. I always knew he is a good cook. I mean, the weekend mother and son cooking classes that he was forced to join and go back when we were in Middle School. It really paid off. I was sure I keep him for reasons.

After we finished our meal, we both plant our butts on the couch and just lie down, scanning through channels for something good to watch. But we barely pay attention to the tv because we're both busy groaning our heads off because we're both bored to death. Usually, I'm partying when its a Friday night. Getting myself wasted because its what Californian people do. This is my first time to be lying and staring boringly at the tv when its obvious that there is no good movies or shows to watch.

"You know what, this is boring."

"Wow. Thanks for pointing out the obvious. Captain Obvious." I roll my eyes as sarcasm wash over my comment.

"Glad to help." I punch him on the thigh and he yelp a bit."Ow!"

"I can't believe I'm here in the house, killing myself to death with you when I can be out there clubbing or doing whatever to spend my Friday night _less boring._"

"Hey! It's not like I like to just sit here all night, you know."

"Well, why the hell are we here anyways? Why aren't we _out there?" _I said annoyed, huffing to my chest.

"I don't know." he simply said.

I groan frustratingly and grab the remote off of his hands. I flip through the channels until I stop to something that can help us ease down out _boring meter, _which is a cartoon channel. _What? Its less boring._

"What do you usually do in L.A?" he asked, not bothering to tear his gaze from the comically made show.

"Partying." I said obviously."I'm a party girl. I was born to be party-er."

"You party a lot?"

"Uh..yeah. Its like...my social life. I go to clubs and meet with friends. Dance. Drink. Get wasted. The usual stuffs. Its the most commonly thing to do in California."

"Do you...you know...uhm...hook up with guys?" he stutter then grimace at the last part with disgust in his voice.

"Uh..hell no! Can't." he gave me questioning look as if telling me to continue further with my story."I'm a tv personalityl..like a celeb. People know me from everywhere. If I go hooking up with guys, I'll most likely damage my name _literally. _I can't do that. And c'mon! You know me better, dude. I'm not that kind of a person."

"Sorry. I know. I'm just thinking. I mean, you're living to a new city...with new kind of lifestyle so I just thought that maybe...you adopt a lot from them. Which I'm glad you didn't."

"Enough with me. What do you usually do on _Fridays? _Aside from being a complete dork sulking." I smirk.

"I have a social life too, FYI. I'm just not that party type of person. My colleagues invite me to go with them but I usually decline due to a lot of work to do. That day or the following day. I gotta do a lot of hardwork. It's not like I'm like you who's a total celeb. I have to do real work in order to sell my movies."

"If you just took the offer in New York then maybe you'll be just like me." I taunt.

He sigh and rub his temples.

"You know I can't."

"No, I don't. You never tell me."

"It's not that easy to just leave to another country. And...I still want to be here in case you want to stay in Seattle for awhile. I want you to have a home when you decided to come back when Carly's away." he said softly.

I shift a bit and rested my head on his shoulder. I didn't say anything but I know he knows deep down I appreciate him. _Very much._

We just laid there, not even watching the tv show running on the screen. He twirl aimlessly with my hair and I sigh. This are the times I missed. Where there are no unspoken words and yet we feel and want the same. I guess it's all magic.

We can stay here all night for all I care. It's just the matter of time till I'll be needing back to my new home. I just hope when that day comes. I can be able to say a _goodbye._

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**_A/N: told you guys I update fast :))) next is chapter 3. i'm alrady done with it. so on with the reviews._**

**_I'm craving for them :)))_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I'm back...again :))) so how did you like my two first chapter of the story? I didn't recieve a lot of reviews. i'm kinda disaapointed but i'm happy that the views are almost 100 :) **_

_**disclaimer: actually, i'm Dan's lost lost lost daughter so, therefore, i co-owned iCarly :p lol. just kidding.**_

_**anyhow, on with the next chapter :D**_

* * *

iStill Love You

chapter 3: The visit

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Freddie's Pov

Last night was amazing. You know, just hanging out with Sam...alone, is probably one of the cons of having her back here in Seattle and actually be able to live with her. It was just last night that I actually enjoyed spending my Friday night at home. Its like going back to the times. _Old times _when we're _frenemies _or dating. Its like we're _Seddie _again.

We both fell asleep on the couch - good thing it was big enough for four people and you can sleep on it on tiring days. I woke up with her in my arms as she snuggle closely to me. Her head on my chest and our hands intertwined. She was wearing a happy smile on her beautiful face and I'm sure I did too. I slept peacefully, like I'm already on the heavens with the most gorgeous angel. I'm glad that we don't have to work our ass today, and she doesn't have to attend her daily class in Seattle University. I'm actually looking forward in spending the weekends with her. Either in the house or outside, if she wants.

It was this day my mom paid a very surprising visit. Sam and I are busy cooking lunch, or more like I'm cooking and she's watching from the counter eating some fruit bars she saw from my stash. _She's soo sneaky._ Anyways, we're joking and goofing around when the doorbell rang. Sam offered to opened it because I'm obviously occupied with preparing our food. Soon then, I hear a loud gasp and the sound of my mom's voice.

_"Oh, Samantha. What a very unexpected sight to see you here at my son's house." _

Her voice full of amusement, confusion and disappointment - she still can't get over the fact that I'm already old enough to have anyone in my house, especially beautiful and hot ladies. I left my cooking and look to the living room where Sam looks like a deer caught in headlights. Well, seeing my mom unexpectedly is really surprising. I know that I have the same expression as Sam.

"Marissa." Sam greets calmly.

"Mom." I said, walking behind a very fazed Sam as I dry my hands to the apron.

"Oh, hey honey. I didn't know you have Samantha here. When did you arrived by the way?" she said without looking at me. She was eyeing Sam, who's looking uncomfortable.

I can't actually blame my mom. Sam have already changed a lot, more in physical. She's soo much different from her tomboy image back when we were kids. She's more of a woman now. She looks like a model to be exact, wearing a ripped jean shorts and a purple tank top. She's like fresh out from a fashion magazine. And her hair is down straight with a bit of a brownish highlights and she is also wearing a light make up.

"Uh..I just arrived last week." she answered politely.

"Why don't you come in, Mom." I offered her, grabbing her coat and putting it on the coat rack beside the door. I close it and followed my mom to the main living room."What brings you here? Its seems unexpected." I tried to sound casual but my inner self disappoint me because my features clearly shows that I'm not happy to see her sitting in one of my couch in the living room, staring at the both of us with hawk eye. _Its creepy._

She sit up upright and Sam and I took a seat across from her. She keeps watching us and Sam felt more uncomfortable. She scoot away from me to the end of the couch, probably trying to tell my mom that there's nothing to spy us on. I kinda felt mad towards my mom for jumping on assumptions even though she didn't say anything but her body language tells a whole different story.

"I just want to make sure you're doing fine. I heard that you are up to doing yet, another film."

"I am. Sam's helping me as well." I informed her.

"Oh." she said in fake-shocked. She then turned her attention to Sam and shift her head to the side."Speaking of, what are you doing here Samantha? Shouldn't you be in L.A?" she said a bit bitchy.

"Uh...Actually, I was sent here by the network to train student interns at the Seattle University. After I trained them, I'll pick the most aspiring future media personality who's capable of doing what we do and we'll give them a job to start in Hollywood." She explained.

"Really? That's very helpful of you and your company. I've watched a lot of you, actually, a lot of people do. You're famous. Very different from your past years."

"Yeah? Well thank you, Marissa. It's good to have you as my fan too. I'm really working thrice to tend on my fans' demands."

"Hmm. I've also seen you through a lot of magazines. Are you taking up modeling as your career too?"

"Oh, that?" Sam said a bit surprised. I'm actually interested to her answer. _Is she?_

"Well, yeah. I am. The basics only. But I'm not focusing on that. Its just some hobby or something."

_Sam? Taking up modelling? Wow. She is very different. So, that's why she has that posture and poise made for models. I guess there are a lot of things I didn't know about her now._

"Life in that kind of business is no doubt quite maddening at times. Anyways, where are you staying? Carly will not be back until next week."

_Okay. Guess that's my cue to step in to the conversation. They must've forgotten that I'm also here, between them to be exact._

"She's...uh...apparently,staying with me."

My mom's head shot up and so is her eyebrows.

"Oh..." she expressed in somewhat a very disappointed voice."I guess that's nice of you, honey. For helping a friend."

We smell something strange and Sam stood up immediately.

"Our lunch! My lunch!" she exclaimed and dash in the kitchen."I'll get this!" she called out.

"Okay!" I said back. I turn to see my mom glaring at me, her lips pursed into thin line. I gulp and scoot away from her.

"What were you doing, Fredward? Seriously, are you even thinking this time?"

"What do you mean?" I asked quite offended.

"Having Samantha to stay here. That's what I mean. What are you trying to pull out. You barely stay here in Seattle because you're always in L.A visiting her and now, you had her living with you?" she hissed, glancing a look every now and then to the kitchen where Sam's busy cooking.

"I'm not pulling anything." I defend.

"And you want me to believe you? You're still obviously _i__n love _with her. You're too desperate to have her, Freddie."

"Will you stop it, Mom! Yes. I am _in love _with her. I love her so much I don't even care if I'm acting too desperate for _your _liking."

"I don't know what got into you. I don't even know how to help you."

"I don't need any help. Just stop nosing around my business. I'll do whatever I want. I'm old enough to handle my life. I don't _need _you, Mom." I said bitterly.

I expected her to sob her eyes out and make me all guilty and ready to kneel and beg for her forgiveness but I was stood wrong. She only sigh and shook her head sadly. She give me a long, disappointed and sad look before she stand up.

"You're right. You're old enough to know what you want. Old enough to take matters in your own hands. You don't need me."

Even though she's acting a bit bitchy, she's still my mom and hearing her say those words and agreeing with me makes me want to puke of guiltiness.

"I'll leave now. I just stop by to see what you're doing. But of course, it's not my position anymore to look after you." she grab her purse and open the door."Tell Samantha I said goodbye." and with that she disappears through closed doors.

Just then, Sam came back holding a spatula over her pot holder-clad hands. She scan the room and her eyes land on the spot where my mom was then she turn to me.

"She has things to do. She won't be joining us." I answered her questioning look then shrug."Is the food ready?"

"Yeah." she mutters."I'll set up the table."

"No. I'll do it."

I went to the kitchen and set the table myself. My mother's words kept echoing inside my head.

_She's so damn wrong. _Sam and I had dated back in our Highschool and after that, we stayed friends. I didn't hide the fact that I'm still in love with her, its pretty much obvious but I don't know if she even knows that herself. I'm not expecting a lot from Sam. I'm content to what we have right now, I'll rather have that than nothing at all.

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_**A/N: my apologies that its short chapter. but i'll assure you guys that it'll be longer next time i update which will be soon though.**_

_**AND TO THE REVIEWS! Click on that blue button thingy with word that says "review" :)) i'll be pleased to know what you think and if you guys have any suggestions, i'll probably consider it and put it on my next chapter:)))**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/U: Yay! I'm back :) I'm working on my other story. For those who have read them already, thank you and you guys can be assure that I'll post the next chapter tomorrow or Tuesday. And for those who hasn't read it. Check it out. Its called Sweet Escape. You guys will like it :)**_

_**disclaimer: I do not own iCarly but I do own the little girl and a Nicholas Spark's books :) ENJOY!**_

* * *

iStill Love You

chapter 4: A LITTLE encounter

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General Pov

She groaned loudly as she hears the sound of her phone ringing. She toss around her bed and even push her face deep in the pillows to block the blaring of her phone.

It kept ringing to the point she wants to knock it dead with a jack hammer but thought that it cost her a thousand bucks because it's the newest version of Pearphone in the market and only few were able to buy it yet.

She sat up, rubbing the sleep out her eyes and reach out to the bedside table where her phone is sitting noisily.

Once she had her phone in her hands, she tap the screen and pressed it to her ear.

_"Finally!" _an exasperated voice with a hint of annoyance and relief said on the other line.

"Hello?"

_"Why won't you pick it up?"_

She realized that it was her preppy brunette bestfriend. She yawn and heard her add.

_"You just woke up? Sam!" _

"What? It's a Saturday. It means no work or shits." she defends.

She can almost see her shake her head disapprovingly by her answers.

_"Do you even know what today is?"_

"Uh.." she pull her phone away and look at her screen where a date is placed just beside the time.

It's Carly's arrival and she had forgotten about it.

_"Expected." _Carly sigh loudly._"Nevermind. The plane's going to land to the airport any minute now. I want you to come pick me up. Spencer said he can't pick me up because he's with Amy in Florida visiting her parents and I don't have a car. I don't want to pay a cab as well. I'm too tired to even call for one. Can you do that?"_

"Sure. I'll just dress and I'll be on my way."

_"Thank you. I'll call you as soon as the plane get's to Seattle Airport."_

"Okay."

The line went dead and she decided its time to wake up fully. She stretch more and felt her muscles relax as she heard some cracking noise at her back and neck. She tried to comb her hair but her fingers got stuck from the tangle mass of curls.

She sigh and kick the comforter to the side. Turning over to the side, she slip her fluffy slippers with bunny ears as its design and stand up. She let's out a long yawn and scratched her arms. Dragging herself to walk, she grab her towel, wrap herself in a silky red robe and went to the bathroom.

She strip herself, putting all her night-clothes to the hamper near the sink, she step inside the shower room. Turning the shower faucet, she place her palms through the water and shiver lightly. She turn the faucet counter-clockwise and it produce warm water. She rinse her hair first and get to her body after.

Fifteen minutes passed, she stepped out of the water clad in a robe whilst drying her hair with a towel. She brush her teeth and comb her hair, entangling it then put it in a high ponytail.

She went to her drawers and grab some fresh underwear then closing again before turning to the wooden closet next to it and searched for a nice pair of shorts and her old hoodie. She hang the robe at the back of the bathroom door.

She rummaged through her suitcase and held high her favorite purse. She threw her wallet and keys inside before striding down the stairs. She caught a whiff of bacon being fried and she can't help but track down the source of the delicious meat goodness she crave everyday.

She step in the kitchen and saw Freddie flipping some eggs and bacon in the pan. His back was at her but she can tell that he has this intent look on his face whenever he's doing something. She lean to the walls and cross her arms over her chest before calling him out.

"That'll for me?"

He jumped a bit and whip his head around, his fingers clutching at his chest letting the spatula fall from his eyes down to the floor.

"God, Sam! You almost gave me an attack." he exclaimed, crouching down and reaching for the spatula. He rinsed it in the sink and dried it with a paper towel.

"Aww. Just almost?" she pout disappointedly."I should practice it again later then." she adds, giving him a teasing smirk which he roll her eyes.

"Still hasn't change a bit." he comments.

"And you love it." she teases.

"Sure." he said sarcastically before going back to his work. He place the bacon and eggs to the plate beside the pan and walk towards the table. He grab the hot-pot of coffee from the stove and pour some into their glass."Why are you so up early? You have work?"

She shook her head and pull a chair to sit. He place a plate in front of her and push the plate of bacon and eggs to her direction and he sat across her.

"Today is Carly's arrival."

"It is?" he knitted his brows lightly with a surprise look.

He had forgotten about Carly because he's too focus on having Sam around with him and spending every single day with her.

"Yup." she said, emphasizing the p sound in the end."She called me up this morning, she's the one who woke me up. Remind me to strangle her later for that." he laughs and motions for to continue further."Anyways, she told me to come pick her up because Spencer can't do it. He's in Florida visiting Amy's parents and she's lazy to call a cab for her own." she took a sip of her brewed coffee as he swirl his coffee, staring at her.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he offers.

"Nah, I'll just borrow your car and As tempting as it is to boss you around, I do remember hearing you over the phone yesterday about a meeting with some production staffs." she took a bite of her bacon, munching it.

"Yeah. Kinda don't want to go." he said.

"I believe you have to."

"I know."

She slump on her chair and bit her lip, looking at him hesitantly contemplating whether to talk continuously.

He sense her and eyed her carefully.

"Just say it." he said.

She seems surprised and sigh. She swirled the coffee in her glass before she speaks.

"I was just curious about last night."

He raise an eyebrow and drop his fork to his plate, giving her his full attention.

"Did you and your mom fought?"

He was taken aback. Since last night up to this morning he's been having a hard time comprehending his previous conversation with her mom. It still made him mad for her to even judge his humbleness he's showing for an old friend - and an ex-girlfriend that he still loves deeply.

He was aware - pretty much everybody is aware that her mom was not happy about his relationship with Sam, clearly with her obvious plotting on how to make him break up with him by bribing him money that no once can ever decline - well, except him. When Sam and him broke up, he was sure that his mom would throw a party out of it but she didn't. Actually, she backed away, didn't pester him about it at all and he was more pleased to have that kind of peace for a while to mourn over something beautiful that he had lost.

He guessed that she knew from the beginning that she can't control him or his feelings. He was quite surprised that one day when she asked about how Sam is doing. Surprised on how she watch Sam's shows and movies without her knowing he knew. Maybe...maybe she was proud of her. Happy that she didn't turned out to be her mother - not that he's saying Pam hasn't changed in the past years because she has - so he was surprised when she even told Sam about how she adores every single works Sam do or did.

What confuses him is that why is she still against him and his obvious eternal feelings for the blonde if she - subtly - accepted Sam a bit?

He definitely need to take further chit-chat with his mom if he wants clarifications.

He realized that she's waiting for him to answer.

"Its nothing important." he lied to her.

"Is it about me staying here? Is she mad about it?" she said softly and slowly, her head hanging down.

He reach across them and lift her chin up to his level.

"No. It's not about that. Even if it is. She can't do anything about it. But it's not about that." he offered a small smile.

She nod. Brushing off the tingly sensation she's feeling at the pit of her stomach while he's holding her face, staring intensely at her deep pool of blue eyes. She saw his gaze drop to her lips for a lingering moment before going back to her eyes. She suddenly felt afraid, ready to retreat because she's not ready enough to step in a whole new - familiar - zone with him again.

He felt disappointed - hurt - when she backed away from his touch. His finger brush her face before it fall to the table.

"I..I have to go." she mumble before pushing herself from the chair as he look up to her and nod.

"Okay." he said."Tell Carly I said hey."

"Sure."

She sling her bag to her shoulder and walk out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"..I mean, Spokane is good but I am so not looking forward to go back there. Its not like I have anything against them but, not my kind of place." Carly told her with a disbelief look on her face and a roll of her eyes.

As soon as she spotted Carly from the exit, she suddenly made dash towards her with a bear hug. Although she missed her so much, having the entire airport people looked at them during that moment want to make a quick run a leave her door in the middle of the place.

Sam didn't expect a lot of changes from Carly. She's still the same preppy and chirpy brunette best friend. She still has her brown hair wavy, falling down on her shoulders; skinny and tall.

Carly on the other hand was more surprised when she first saw Sam. She's not expecting her to be somewhat the complete opposite of her tomboy image when they were kids. She even thought it was Melanie pranking on her but when Sam opened her mouth to speak, she knew it was definitely Sam in front of her.

Carly noticed that she was lost in her thoughts and that she is not talking to someone for a while. She tilt her head to the driver's seat where the blonde has her hands gripping the wheels.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh..yeah." she glance to her best friend and smile.

"I still hadn't asked you about how you're doing. I mean, your stay with Freddie."

"Its good."

"_Just _good?"

"What? Were you expecting something more?"

"I don't know. Should I?" Carly gave her a cautious look.

Sam shrug and shook her head.

"So, how have you been? I haven't talked to you since you came back."

"Well, I started teaching students in Seattle University. And...I'm doing a film."

"Film? How? You told me you're here to just train..I didn't know you're going to-"

"I'm helping Freddie." she cut her.

Carly eyed her suspiciously.

"Why?"

"He needs some help."

"You do know Freddie has produced great films for the past years by himself. What I'm saying is...he doesn't need help."

"I think he lost his touch."

"Are you really ready for that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sam." she lets out a sigh and a half whine.

"I'm just helping a friend."

"Freddie loves you. Still loves you."

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"Do you even love him still?"

"Carly."

"Because if you don't you're trying to lead him to nowhere. He's my best friend too and if he's going to end up being hurt.." she trails."

"I'm not leading him. Okay. I still don't know what I feel about him. Can we just drop this?"

"Just so you know, you're not staying here for good. Might as well get figured it out while you're still here." Carly finish and Sam stare blankly at the road.

"I know." she whisper sadly."I know." she repeats more to herself and Carly looked at her with a sad smile as well.

* * *

Sam's Pov

After a long chit-chat with Carly - and her gush over this new guy she met in Spokane - I decided to drive around town for a while, you know just so I could be more familiar with the city. I drove past our old school and memories from the past came flashing in my mind.

I pull over the side of a very familiar park as well. I put on my sunglasses - just to prevent fans from running after me. I opened the car door and step out of the car.

The warm breeze hit my skin and I can't help but smile contentedly. I walk over those benches facing a big playground and watch as children run and play.

I'm actually thanking my boss for giving me an opporunity to be back here. Its like having a vacation but at the same time working. I haven't had some peace in my life since I moved in L.A, sure I hang with my colleagues and friends partying but there is always that time where I crave for calm and relaxing time in the park, away from stress and people wanting to get a scope about my latest works or life whichever makes an interesting story in the newspaper or tv.

"Hello." a high pitch voice broke my gaze to the playground.

It's a girl. She has a light brown wavy hair in pigtails and her blue eyes is looking up to me.

"Uh..hello?" I trail.

"Who are you?" she said a bit demanding.

"I'm..Sam. How about you?" I asked.

"I'm Hailey. What are you doing here?" Okay, this kid is much worst than those reporters.

"What are **you **doing here?" I throw back the question to her.

"I asked you first."

"Just sitting."

She eyed me cautiously, her arms clutching a medium size teddy bear. If she isn't a kid, I would say that she's very intimidating.

"How old are you?"

"I'm six."

"Hmm."

"You look like my doll." she states, pointing at me.

"Really?"

"Her name's Alice."

"That's a good name."

"And she has a prince. His name's Ken. Do you have a prince?"

"I used to."

"What happened?"

I furrow my eyes to the girl who seems very interested at me. I'm not very fond of kids especially little girls because they tend to act bratty and demanding. Like this little girl.

"It's an adult stuff. You won't understand."

She scoff loudly and it catch my attention.

"Yeah. Yeah. That's what adult like you say. You all think that just because we're kids we won't understand your problems. I bet the reason you don't have a prince anymore is stupid."

"How can you say that?"

"Most adults do stupid stuffs then cry saying how badly it hurts. I say, its pretty pathetic. I mean, you guys are older and pretty much know a lot of stuffs so, I don't get why you adults have to do something you will regret anyways." She hug her bear tightly and frown when she look back at me.

This kid is smart, I believe. It's quite funny hearing some little kid comment about how adults act. I wish it was easier done than said. How she says it is like soo easy.

"Trust me. If you're old enough. You'll understand why adults do stupid stuffs."

"Please. I understand it clearly even if I'm not old enough like you. Usual problems of adults is love. Love this. Love that. I have to hear my big sister Lea talk about that with her friends over the phone."

"It's bad to listen to other people's conversation you know." I tried to change the subject. I mean, I'm talking to a freaking six year old kid about love and problems. _How weirs is that, right?_

"You're changing the subject." she huff, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout.

"Sorry?"

"Whatever. All I have to say is. Don't make simple things complicated. Its stupid." she said with a tone of obviousness.

"Uh..thanks?"

"You're boring. I'll go back to play now." she run to the other kids and I was left stuck with a thought.

_That little girl just gave me an advice. And it does make a sense. I suppose._

I shook my head and laugh humorously._ How can a kid's advice make sense? She's barely an adolescent. She doesn't know anything about those stuffs._

I felt my phone vibrate inside my front pocket. I pull it and tap it open to read the message.

_From: Freddie_

_I cooked chicken and ribs for dinner. You might want to go home before it gets cold :p_

_P.S Be careful with your driving. As much as I know how you're so eager to go home now. I do want you alive when you get back ;)_

I smile and tap a reply.

_To: Freddie_

_I'll be there in a few :)_

* * *

_**A/N: There you go for chapter 4 :)) hope you guys like this. I read the previous chapters and I'm so sorry for some grammatical errors. I'll work on that today and you guys can check it out again.**_

_**Anyways, tell me about your favorite about my story. Just PM and I'll be happy to answer you guys back. Your thoughts and comments energize me more to continue this story.**_

_**You guys can also follow me on twitter at itsLiLMissAnne :)))**_

_**Review. Review. Review! I'm craving for them :p**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/U: HEY ! I'm really getting happy to see the viewers getting higher and higher :))) oh, I'm still on the look for a beta, so if you guys are interested, just drop by my message box and pm me :) you guys can also follow me on twitter at itsLiLMissAnne :))))_**

**_disclaimer: I OWNED iCARLY! lol. just dreaming ;p_**

**_ON WITH THE SHOW! ENJOYYYYYY :DDD_**

* * *

iStill Love You

chapter 5:

* * *

Freddie's Pov

I was busy brewing a pot of coffee when I heard the door jingle and a sound of keys being placed in the glass bowl next to the door in a wooden long table and footsteps in the living room.

"Sam? Is that you?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yeah."

"You want some coffee? I'm making one." I told her.

"Sure. I'll just shower and I'll join you later."

I heard her footsteps disappear from hearing range and a door being closed. After I met up with the production people and learned that they're happy to help me produce my film - I still need to discuss those important matters to Sam - I come home seeing the house empty. I even went across the hall and asked if Sam's still there and to my surprise, Carly told me she left few hours ago which made me think.

I had a little chat with Carly asking how's her visit in Spokane although I know that she went there for work, but still. I bid goodbye to Carly and found myself outside of the building and calling for a cab to drive to the nearest grocery store. I've decided earlier to make Sam a good dinner when she gets back.

The memories of our moment just this morning cross my mind. How close we were to kissing but then something made her retreat. Honestly, it hurt me and at the same time kind of relieved. Hurt because I assumed that she doesn't feel the same way as mine - which I hope is not true - and relieved because I know we're both not ready to step to, yet, another familiar territory. As much as I want her back to me, I want her to be ready when I talk to her about it. We're just starting all over again and I don't want to make her to slip away from me just because I can't control my feelings - or hormones - during that time. I don't want to be selfish.

The coffee maker made a _ding _sound and it stopped from brewing the coffee beans. I reach for two cups in the cupboard and pour the fresh liquid to it. I place the two cups next to our plates already sitting nicely on the table.

I decided to wash the used pans and knives in the sink when I felt a presence behind me.

"Ohh..We have some guest tonight, Fredfood?" Sam asked.

I look over my shoulder to her and saw her rubbing her palms together whilst licking her lips, eyeing the food like she wants to devour it any seconds now. The simple gesture kinda stir something inside me and I curse under my breath.

_Now is not the time to act as hormonal as you are Freddie. That's not very gentleman-like._

I took a deep breath and place the pans back to the cabinet and the knives to the drawer below my stomach. I grab a paper towel and wipe my hands dry before throwing it at the nearby trash bin.

"I just thought you'd be hungry when you get back. Besides, I went grocery shopping while you're out. Might as well used in something good, right?"

"Ah. Good choice, servant." she patted my head and I roll my eyes at her.

Walking over the empty chair and pulling it for her to seat, I motion for her to come. She narrow her eyes at my gesture and shrug. She slip herself on the seat and I help her tucked the chair back in a little. I sit across her and scoop some mashed potatoes in the bowl and putting it in my own plate but not before offering her to get some as well.

"I went to find you at Carly's but she told me you're out. Would you mind if I ask where you went?" I dip my spoon on the mashed potatoes and place it in my mouth.

"I went for a drive until I reach the park where we used to go for a picnic when we were kids."

Ah. _The park._ I remember those times vividly in my mind like it was just yesterday. The park is located a few block from the school and a little from the building. We usually have some picnics there with Spencer. We bring a huge blanket that'll be enough for us and lots and lots of food. We even tried to fly a kite there. I also remember finding Sam there very often when she decided not to attend some classed back when we're in highschool. Its something I'm good at. Looking for her where people least to look for her. I guess its just a connection we have ever since. The park has been the _iCarly _team's private place although a lot of families, kids and couples went there, its something we cherish the most because its been part of our childhood.

"I kinda miss those times when we hang out there after the show or at weekends." she said, like she just read my mind, voicing m own thoughts in the process.

"Me too." I agreed to her."You know, we can still go there if you want to."

"How? We all have works and I'm not from here anymore."

She meet my eyes and we lock eyes for a second.

"You'll always be from here. Seattle has always been your home, Sam. That'll never change. Not even in a million years." I smile.

She smile back and drop her gaze to her food.

"The ribs are delicious." she comments, changing the subject.

I still haven't asked Sam until when is she staying here. Not that I want her to leave already because that's like crazy talking. I kinda got used to having her here with me considering I was living on my own. And waking up in a house knowing you'll be having someone to greet first thing in the morning or eat together with or just hang with when you don't want to go out is kinda soothing and...completing. It just felt good to have a company. I guess if she leave, it'll never be the same.

"Thanks. I really want to be up your standards." I smirk.

"Eh..you know me so well."

"Yeah, I do."

We continue to eat in silence and I pour us both another fresh coffee whenever we empty our cup. Soon, we're sitting in the couch, stomachs full and just let the silence of the night fill the room.

"So you know about my meeting with the productions right?" I glance to her from my spot where my head is over the left end of the couch and hers on the other right end.

"What about it?"

"They told me that they're willing to help me produce the film."

"Good idea. You'll gonna be needing it. Do you even know when we're going to start?"

"I say the next week. I'll just have to put some finishing touches and talk to some connections again and we're all set to shoot."

"You know, you're right."

"About what?"

"About me not knowing the handworks behind the making of an independent film."

"I thought you said you're very aware of how it works?"

"I know but seeing you work so hard about it tells me there is something more than just what I know."

"Are you backing down on me?"

"Hell no! I will never do that. I kinda starting to miss my work in Hollywood. Maybe that's why I offered you my help."

"Either way, I'm glad you did." I said appreciatively.

She grab the remote from her head to the side table and switch on the tv. she scanned through the channels before it stopped from a familiar tv show: _Friends_

I glance down to her and saw her sit up, a small smile on her face and there I know she's missing L.A. I've been an avid listener and viewer of Sam's shows so it's no doubt that _Friends _is one in the list of my favourite shows she ever made.

"How come they're still running the show when you're here?" I asked curiously.

"I already had the next episodes and season written and ready to be taped. So, it's not that a problem if I'm somewhere in the world doing who knows what. It won't stop the show from running." she informed whilst not turning her head to look at me. She's so transfixed with the show and I can't help but admire how she loves her shows.

I nod to her even thought she's doesn't have her attention to me, still.

Its been hours and Sam's already dozing off in the couch. I grab her arms and wrap it over my neck as I grab her by the torso and buttocks to carry her to her room. Good thing she's such a lightweight like carrying a bag of feathers. It still amaze me how she can eat like a truck driver but still weigh far from a truck.

The only thing that kinda get my head in a twist is opening her door which is closed. I had to crouch the both of us to reach over her door and turn the knob open. I kicked the door open and tread over her bed. I place her gently in the comforter and she snuggle closely to the pillow beside her.

"Good night, princess." I whisper to her before placing a kiss on her temple.

I was about to leave when something or someone stopped me to do so. Her small hands grab my wrist as she mumbles.

"Don't go."

I turn back to her and rub her arms.

"I have to."

"Stay here..beside..me."

"You don't want that. You'll probably kill me in the morning if you see me sleeping next to you." I chuckle softly, removing her grasp on my wrist and putting it to her lap."I'll be in the room across."

"Mmkay..." her breathing steadies and I breath in relief that she's asleep already."..hmm...i love...fwied chicken."

I laugh inwardly as I hear her mutter those words in her sleep. I slip off my shirt and step in the covers. I put an arms over my eyes but found myself widely awake. I toss and toss around the bed trying to find the best position for me to sleep but I can't. I'm craving for someone' touch. Warmth beside me.

I groaned to myself, pressing a pillow on my head on how crazy I'm acting now. Maybe my mom's right. I am desperate.

_Mom. _Oh, man. We're still not in good terms. I should call her tomorrow and maybe sort things between us. As much as she irritates me, she still my mom and I love her as well and I know she just wants what best for me even though she's going over the edge at most times.

I roll over my stomach and plant my face over the pillow and soon, I felt my eyes slowly close with a certain blonde demon from the other room in my head.

* * *

Sam's Pov

I look over the bunch of students jutting down notes from the Powerpoint presentation I made Freddie made for me before going back to talking to Ricky on the other line.

_"So, how's your students?"_

"Don't talk with me like that. I know you're enjoying every killing time I have here." I accused him.

_"Samantha, you know I didn't send you there for no good reason. You're my best talent and I trust you so much. I know you can teach those students the art of media communication."_

"But I want to get back to work."

_"You'll get back to work as soon as you're done with your unfinished business."_ he said it like there was meaning behind those words. Like he's not talking about me teaching here anymore but I know better than to ask him about it because knowing him, he'll probably throw everything back at me.

"That'll be hard."

_"Just follow your heart."_

"Are we still talking about work here?" I joke.

_"Depends on your situation."_

Teaching is so not my thing. I mean, isn't it obvious? I hate children, I hate being a student since then. I don't know why they want me to teach those bunch of hooligans. Seriously. I can't stand it.

I taught them about history of radio and television and I let them ask me about something about my work and stuffs. I actually faked a smile to them because Henry has watched me the whole time. I already dismissed the class and massage my neck, twisting and applying pressure to those spots that ache the most.

I heard a faint knock and I turned to see Henry. I smile and motion for him to come in.

"Sam."

"Henry, what brings you here?" I sat up straight, crossing my legs and placing my hands on my lap. Yeah, I know very lady like but c'mon, I'm wearing a freaking pencil skirt!

He was about to say something when a familiar voice cut him.

"Sam." my heart beat and from there I knew I don't have to turn to see who's it from.

"Freddie?"

"Ah. Yes. I found your boyfriend wandering around the admission hall looking for you. I told him I can bring him to you." he smile triumphantly like he just completed a wonderful task.

_Did I hear it correct? He called him my boyfriend? Oh, no._

I glance to Freddie and his face us a deep shade of crimson. I know my face mirrors him as well. I tried to deny but found myself stutter.

"Uh..well...you see..he's not..we're actually not-"

He held up his hand and dismiss my objection.

"Ah. No worries, Sam. Your boyfriend can visit you anytime he wants. We're not really strict when it comes to visitors." he grin.

"But you see.." I trail.

"I'll leave you two alone now." he said with a teasing smile, walking to Freddie whose frozen in spot looking a big dork he is, blushing, he pat his back and wink.

_What the hell!_

He left quickly but not before we heard him mutter something along the lines.

"Aww. Such a sweet couple. I wonder what Lisa cooked for dinner."

I felt my throat to dry and I can't dare to look at Freddie. This is just so awkward. Isn't it awkward? This is awkward right? ugh!

I took a deep breath and decided to just cut to the chaste, I mean, I don't want to be stuck here all day just because we can't handle this maturely.

"So, what brings you here?" I asked not meeting his eyes.

I can see him through my peripheral, shifting his weight to one hip to another.

"I just thought of picking you up so that we can meet the other crews to discuss more about the film. It can save you some trouble. No need to call fro a cab."

I can't help my lips to twitch a bit.

'Thanks."

"No problem."

"So, today's the day huh?

"Yup." I look up to see him grinning and walk towards me."Let's go?"

"Sure just let me grab my stuffs."

"I'll help you with that." he cross the room and grab my bag and laptop. I bit my lip, feeling the giddy feeling inside me.

"Suit yourself, nub."

He roll his eyes and I walk past him as he follow my tail.

"...you haven't told me about your story, why?"

"Because I was working on that and fixing stuffs before I let you read them." he glance to me from the driver's seat.

"What is the story about? Is it action? comedy? drama?"

"Romance." he cut me off.

"Romance?"

He nod.

"You're such a big nerd."

"Hey! My story. My choice." he pout.

I punch him lightly on the arm and cross my arms at him.

"Why?"

"I just felt like it."

"Felt like it?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Why can't you just make an action movie? or comedy? or horror?"

"It takes a lot of inspiration to create a great story. You should know that. You're a writer yourself." he taunt me. I stare at him for a moment, a smirk forming on his face.

_ It takes a lot of inspiration to create a great story._

Inspiration?

Is he in love? I so want to ask him but decided against it.

"Fine. What do you have in mind?"

"You mean the content of the movie?"

"No, the content of today's dinner." I said sarcastically and I huff."Of course, the movie. What do you think."

"No need to be sarcastic, princess."

I roll my eyes and shrug.

"You'll see. You'll like it." he smile at me then back to the road.

Something tells me it will be the complete opposite.

* * *

_**A/N: Woooh! I posted yet another chapter :)))) i'm proud of myself! I still haven't thought of the movie Freddie wrote. But i do want it to be somewhat related to the both of 'em.**_

_**and what can you say about Henry? ahaha.. I love that man. He's a seddie shipper. ssshhh ;p**_

_**REVIEWWWWWWWWWWW PLEASEEEEEEE**_

_**- foreverJathan :*****_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: THIS IS THE REAL CHAPTER, THE ONE THAT WAS DELETED. I FOUND IT. THE AT THE END IS MY EXPLANATION FOR MY SUDDEN MISSING FEW WEEKS BACK :)  
**_

_**disclaimer: I don't own iCarly but I do own a lot of iCarly dvds and Nicholas Sparks' books :)**_

_**ENJOY!**_

* * *

iStill Love You

chapter 6

* * *

Freddie's Pov

I glance over Sam from the folder I was reading as she speaks with my employees. I smile to that. I'm happy that she finally relaxed to them. I remember when they first saw her and she was like, so annoyed and now she's talking to them.

I don't actually know what to feel about this setup. Having Sam around is great..more than great, its completing but...for how long?

My conversation with my mom over the phone plays on my mind.

_"I'm sorry, mom for talking to you like that. I didn't mean it to be out like that."_

_"Its okay, honey. I get it."_

_"I just want you to understand."_

_"I'm really trying, Fredward but as your mom. You can't stop me from worrying about you."_

_"What exactly are you worried about? Sam will not torment me anymore. She's changed. She's more mature now."_

_"Maybe not physically..." she sigh from the other line."Have you ever wonder if how long is she gonna stay?"_

_"I..."_

_"Seattle is not her home anymore. Maybe it was but she belonged to California. It's where she lives now. Her life is in there. She just came here for a business matter. She'll leave soon."_

_"I know but maybe I can change that."_

_"I can't tell you stop loving her, now can I?"_

_"That's impossible."_

_"I thought so." she comments softly."She maybe more mature now but she'll always be Sam. She's not ready and if she is..you don't know if she feels the same."_

_"I'll figure things out, mom. Just...trust me."_

_"I do trust you. But if I think you're going overboard, will you listen to me when I say you stop?"_

_"Maybe...or maybe I know when will I stop."_

_"You really love her."_

_"So much."_

I tried my hardest to move on but I just can't. And having a continues connection with Sam didn't help either. Its like, it made us closer than ever.

It made me fall for her even more. And it makes my heart ache with want and need. I'm ready to have her. To get her back but we never got the chance to talk about **us.** It's like forbidden shits.

When I was in L.A visiting her, I opened the topic but she quickly dismiss it, joking and teasing me then changed the subject. I know for sure we still have that spark, the connection. I can feel it and I know she feel it too. It's there.

"Hey, man. Are you okay?" I turn to my side and saw Ernie look at me weirdly.

"Yeah."

"You sure? You've been staring at your blonde friend, deep in thoughts. Don't tell me you're thinking about doing something-"

"Dude! Shut up!" I smack his arm and shakes my head."I'm not like that! She's my friend."

He chuckles and lean back to his chair.

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding." he said between laughs.

I roll my eyes at him.

"Not funny."

"So, how long have you've known her?" I looked at him incredulously, narrowing my eyes at him.

Sometimes I would like to wonder where my employees had been when we were doing iCarly, I mean, they didn't even recognized us doing it or they just didn't remember us dating or something.

"Long enough. She's my childhood bestfriend. You know. iCarly." I motion my hands in circle trying for him to remember the webshow.

"Oh. Yeah. Well, I'm not a big fan."

"Why you asked?"

"I'm just thinking...I won't step on anyone's feet if I ever ask her on a date now, would I?" my eyes shot at him fully. He was being serious about this. Okay, maybe I don't have a say if guys wants to date her right? I mean, I'm not her boyfriend. I'm just her ex-boyfriend who happens to be in love with her still. It's not like we still have this connection back when we're in highschool.

"What are you talking about?" My voice started to become a bit harsher, snappy to be exact. I may not be her boyfriend anymore but that doesn't mean I can't be her bestfriend who'll always look out for her, right?

I've known Ernie since I first started doing films. He's my production head and yes, he's a close friend but I do know that he has this history of dating hot girls and breaking their heart afterwards. In short, he's a total player and I won't allow him to play with Sam. _My Sam._

"Dude. I won't let you play with her." I kinda want to say something like: _'She's off limits' _or _'You can't date her because she's mine.'_ but I chose my words instead.

"I won't play with her. I think she's awesome. Different from any girls out there."

"Please. Not her." I shake my head disapprovingly.

"Why? You guys have a thing?" he said suspiciously, eyeing me intensely.

I shift my eyes away and cross my arms to my chest.

"It's not like that. But, c'mon, she's my bestfriend. We both know you're such a player. She's not a toy." I said firmly.

He shrug and nod understandingly.

"Fine." he said defeatedly."But I still think you guys have a thing."

I ignore his comment and I look forward to my people. I noticed that Sam shot me a look for a moment then turn back to what she's doing. I shrug off the feeling and closed my folder. I lean into my elbows, intertwining my fingers in front of me before placing my chin above.

"So, what do you guys say?" I'm most definitely looking for Sam's reaction over this. I know she's not a big fan of romantic cheesy flicks and if there is someone who'll be happy to quickly object, I know for the fact that it would be her.

I saw her from the corner of my eye, lifting her pretty face up from the blue folder and raised her hand. I point to her direction, nodding for her to say whatever she has in mind.

"Don't you think it's too common?" Ah, of course she won't like it. It's not her kinda thing anyway.

"I don't think it is. The story is a lot more different from the usual love story. It revolves around two different people."

"Exactly my point." she said."Don't you think the people won't find it kinda thrilling? I mean, of course we want the audience to feel all types of emotions known in the dictionary. We want our movie to capture them. Its going to be so lame if people would know the end of the story." she explains, obviously disagreeing with me and expect it much anyway.

"They won't predict the ending that easily, Sam. I believe my story is not like the others. How many movies have you seen or watched with the same plot as mine?" I asked her."We're not only focusing on romance, we're also focusing on the other topics on hand. Reality. We want to connect with the audience and that's what this story is about. Connection. Hope and Love."

"Hope? This story will end drastically. The main character will die. How is that a proof of hope?"

"There is more, Sam. We haven't started yet and if we do, you'll understand it more." I argue back. I honestly felt like we're back from the bickering duo although this time there is something more to the bickering."Besides, that's not the real script. I have the revised copy. I'll give it to all of you once we started the shooting."

She scan the folder she has and seemed kinda muse.

"When are we going to shoot the movie? And who'll be the people playing the characters?" Lyla, one of the production staff asked.

"I already thought about that and I have it all planned now. I'll just give you all the department heads their respective works to do. But we'll start next week."

I trudge to my office with Sam following me close behind. She's been talking me out how the story would end up pretty suckish. I have to roll my eyes to her to that. I took a seat on my recliner chair and open some papers, skidding over the pages before signing them.

Sam tread towards my table, tapping her hands forcefully on my table.

"I thought we're in this movie?"

I sigh, pushing down the papers and look at her tiredly.

"We are."

"Why aren't you listening to me?"

"What exactly do you want me to do?"

"I hate your storyline." she cross her arms childishly.

"Sam."

She threw her arms and turn her back at me, walking towards the couch and plop down, looking at me fiercely. I dodge her stares and just continue allocating different papers with different tasks to give to my department head staffs.

"Can I see the real script?"

"Promise me you won't burn or rip it apart?" she roll her eyes to me and I saw a hint of glint in her eyes.

"No promises." she smirk teasingly.

"Sam."

"Fine, nub." I look over the bunch of papers and folders scattered on my table. Searching for the blue folder where the revised script is. I spotted it under the other folders and I held it out for her.

She stand up and took the set in front of my table, reaching her little hands to grab my folder.

"Do you want me to contact my connections in L.A to help us out?" she said, not looking up from the folder. She turn the pages carefully whilst nodding. I believe it's a progress and/or a good sign.

"I don't know.." I trail. I do now how powerful she is when it comes to media stuffs. It's cool though, asking for help but the thing is, it kinda felt like stomping on my pride. It's already good that she's helping me with this movie but to actually call for another one, its like telling me that I can't do it good anymore. I want her to know that I'm as good as she is, maybe not like her but good enough for her to feel proud. I'm trying to prove her something here.

"So?"

"I don't think we need help. It's an independent film anyway." I said.

"But we're just going to ask them if they want to help."

"No need. We can do it anyway."

She nod slowly and shrug.

"The character names are Paul and...Adrienne?"

"Yup."

"Care to explain why?"

"It's just a name Sam." I roll my eyes, chuckling softly.

"Where'd you get this idea?" she asked out of the blue.

Actually, I don't know or maybe I do know but I refuse to acknowledge it. It just came up one day but I definitely made sure that it'll have some effect on her.

You see the story is about (obviously) love. The main characters are Paul, who's a doctor himself and Adrienne, an undergraduate cook on a diner. The will meet halfway, fall in love but it's not your typical lovestory, soon, this two will such hardship that will strengthen their love for each other. Paul will learned that he will have a short time to live. It will make people learn how to value time and people as well.

"It just pops." She scoff, giving me a look that says she's not buying it.

"You said great stories comes from great inspiration." she mocks me.

"Can we just drop this? I have to finish this stuffs anyway before next week." I beg her.

"Alright and please do it quick. I'm hungry." _Of course she is._

"We'll go to this diner downtown after."

"Sweet. Now go finish your nubby work." she demands.

After I finished my _'nubby work' _- Sam's words. I brought her to this little diner downtown. Its one of my favourite in town, although its not that popular, the foods are sumptuous and in a very cheap prices.

We were led to this booth by a middle-aged woman named Lisa. She quite reminds me of Ms. Briggs but the difference is, she's not wearing a scowl on her face. She's very friendly per se.

Sam ordered a double deluxe grilled cheese burger, fries and a large cup of Peppy Cola; a regular cheeseburger and a can of cola for me. The place is a typical country style diner, checkered table linens, booths and a jukebox wherein you can pick your own taste of song when you drop some few quarters.

Funny how most people knew Sam because the very moment we stepped inside the double doors and the chimes above the doors jingle, all eyes were on us - specifically on her. Its obvious she's used to those kind of attention, probably because she has experienced them all along. People even walk towards us to ask for pictures and autographs. I'm very surprised to know that there still iCarly fans and _Seddiers._ They even asked if Sam and I are back together.

_That got me blushing and for Sam to stutter a few times._

"How come I never know this place?"

"Its new. Its only been running for a year now." I dip some fries (Sam, actually shared a small portion to me) on a ketchup and put it inside my mouth.

We fell on this silence and it felt comfortable. I kept glancing over her as she eat her food. I don't know what my problem is but everytime I look at her, I feel mesmerize by her beauty. I know she'll just punch me on the arm if I tell her that and disagree, saying she's not all dolled up.

She's not really all dressed up. She's just wearing a simple button up blouse and a baby blue pencil skirt over it and this cute pink dollshoes. I have to laugh on that. I never imagined Sam wearing anything pink or cute but I guess a lot has changed now.

"Take a picture, it'll last." she mumble, not looking up to me. My eyes widen in realization that she just caught me checking her out.

"I..uh..I-" I stutter my words. _Nice going, Benson. You just made a fool outta yourself._

She suddenly look up with a teasing smile etched on her face. I bet she's enjoying this. She always does.

"S'cool, Benson."

"You're enjoying this."

"Very." she said smugly. She lean to her sit, crossing her arms over her chest. "I mean, yeah. I know momma's hot but you don't have to drool over me that obviously." she giggle in amusement.

"Whatever."

Soon, Lisa emerged from the kitchen doors, walk towards us holding her trusty pad and pen. She place the cheat down. I look over it and scoop some few bucks from my front pocket and toss it on the table.

Lisa grab the few dollars, chewing her bubble gum she look to the both of us.

"Aren't you guys from the kid's show? What's it called? iWally?"

"iCarly and yeah. Its us." I answered politely."Why?"

"Cute." I look at her warily and she shrug, smiling before tending to other customer's needs.

* * *

General Pov

Sam decided to pay Carly a visit to her office. The cab drop her off in an unfamiliar building. After paying the cab a few bucks, she step out and look in awe to the twelve storey establishment right before her. It has a big _Gee! _written at the top of it and she knew her brunette bestfriend is somewhere in that building.

She smoothed her clothes, clutching her purse, she walked with poise towards the main entrance. She is met by a lady in uniform - presumably one of the staff - looking at her warily. Sam walk to the reception area, and another lady in uniform look up to her.

"Good afternoon, ma'am. Welcome to Gee! Publication. May I help you?" the lady named Sophia (she saw her nametag) asked with a smile but she can tell that this woman is eyeing her carefully, maybe thinking that she looks very familiar.

"Yeah. I'm looking for Carly Shay."

"May I ask your name, please?"

"Sam. Sam Puckett. So, may I see her?" she cut to the chaste, looking very impatient.

"Do you have an appointment ma'am?"

She's starting to lose some patience here and just want to strangle this girl in front of her. _Doesn't she know who she's talking to? She's Samantha Puckett for pete's sake! Does this girl even has a television or radio?_

"No, but I'm her bestfriend." she gritted her teeth, clutching the counter top.

"I'll just call her-"

"I'm here to surprise her. And you calling her will probably pop the surprise." she almost snarl, glaring at the girl.

"I'm sorry, ma'am but we can't just let any visitor come in of the building."

"Look.." she slap her palm over the counter and lean forward, looking as intimidating as possible, almost towering the girl."I don't have the time in the world. I need to see her now. And I'm not just any visitor. I'm her bestfriend."

"I'm sorry, ma'am but-"

"Do you even know who I am?" she said in a high pitch voice. She didn't even wait for the girl to respond before she adds."Clearly not. I guess you're pretty stupid yourself not to know who you're dealing with."

The girl tremble a bit, biting her lip with fear in her eyes. Sam does look like she's going to slaughter her.

"What's going on here?" A deep voice asked from behind. The girl look over her and look as if she just saw the president or something.

"Sir." the girl greets."This lady said she's Ms. Shay's bestfriend and is meaning to see her."

"Excuse me, Miss."

She turn her head and is met by a very handsome young man in a suit. Deep green eyes with a hint of gray is looking at her but she's not focusing on that right now because she's busy trying to calm her boiling blood.

"Samantha Puckett?" she raise an eyebrow, perplexed look on her face.

"Do I know you?"

The man laugh humorously and she find it very maddening. _Why is he laughing?_ She glare at him, crossing her arms and soon, he stop. He clear his throat and offer his hand for a shake.

"I'm Travis Anderson. Junior vice president of Gee."

She glance at his hand but did not move to shake it.

"Do I know you?" she asked again.

"No. But I do know you." she still look at him blankly and he continue further."I'm a big fan of yours."

She nod understandingly. _Another fan. _

"So, your Carly's bestfriend, I see."

"Yeah. And I want to see her but this stupid girl here you chose to be the receptionist doesn't even know who's she's dealing with." she pointed to the girl at her back.

"Ah. Sophia, its okay. I know her." the girl nod and Sam smirk triumphantly.

The man led her to the elevator and tried to make a small talk.

"I'm deeply sorry about that. She's just new."

"I do too." she mumble.

The elevator ding. It opens revealing a small hallway leading to a room full of medium size cubicles. You can hear bunch of paper shredding, typewriting and click clacking of heels as people look as busy as possible.

"Carly's office is over here." She nods. Following him, he knock on the wooden door. They heard a chirpy voice saying its open.

She saw Carly scribbling through papers to papers looking too serious.

"Sup kiddo?" the brunette's face shot up. Her eyes widen as she look at the person before her.

"Sam!" she stood up, walking over the blonde and pulling her in a tight hug."OMG! What are you doing here?" she pull away, looking past the blonde she saw her boss."Mr. Anderson." she acknowledge him.

"Carly. I brought your friend here. I found her downstairs, almost in the verge of killing our receptionist." he chuckle.

"Sam!" she scolds, hands on her hips giving the blonde a very disappointing look.

"Don't worry, it's not her fault though." the guy flash Sam a smile that can make every girl in the office blush but c'mon, she's Sam, she can't fall for those smiles.

"Thank you, sir."

"Not to worry. I'll leave you guys alone now." He nod to them."Bye, Carly. Sam." the way he said her name made Carly eyed her voice suspiciously.

They both wave and he disappear to close doors.

"What are you doing here?" Carly asked excitedly.

"Now. Now. Shay. You look like bouncing ball." Sam teases."Anyways, I just came here to surprise you."

Sam walk pass her and plop down to her own recliner chair, spinning around like a child and studying those scattered papers.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Carly walk over her desk, slapping her friend's hands when she started to mess with her article in the computer. Sam look at her sullenly and she roll her eyes.

"Just did."

"So, what happened?" Carly gave her a teasing smile, encouraging her to some tell her some good news that might make her squeel in happiness.

Sam shot her a look followed by a frown. She knows what's working on her friend's mind right now. She can almost see those wheels turning inside her head and the way she smiles tells it all. She's hoping for a good story.

"I know that look, Shay." she starts.

"What?" she said as innocently as possible.

"That's not gonna work, Carly. I know you too well. And if you're thinking something that is beyond everything, then I have to wipe that smile on your face because there is nothing to tell."

"You're such a buzzkiller."

"Whoa. I never imagine you saying those big words, Shay." she said with a smug look, pointing a finger on her.

"Shut up." Carly roll her eyes, taking a seat on a chair in front of her desk, she cross her legs and place her hands on her lap."So tell me. How's the meeting?"

"Eh, it's good. We talked about the date of the shooting, he distributed some informations 'bout the movie. Plots. Characters."

"What's the movie about?"

"Romance."

"Romance?" Carly repeated in disbelief.

"Yup."

"Go on. Tell me more."

"There's nothing to tell. Pretty much that's it. We went to this diner downtown after he finished with his own work. And no! it's not a date. I just got hungry." she defends quickly then adds. "then we chat about random stuffs. That's all."

"What? That's it? No confessions about someone's undying love?"

"Carly. We're not some chick flick actors. We make those flicks. Besides, what are you talking about."

"Sam." she almost whine, reaching for her arm and shaking it."Why are you being soo difficult, Sam."

"I'm not being difficult." she jerk her arm away and lean back to her seat.

"We both know you're still in love with Freddie. Why haven't you told him yet?"

"Why is it have to be me? Why not him first?"

"Really Sam?"

"What?"

"Are you really going to waste time now?"

She sigh exasperated. Can't she fully understand? She just can't. She can't just tell him that she wants to get back together with him because confessing means complications. Complications means hurting. She can't risk being hurt. She can't risk hurting him again.

"Don't you get it Carly?" she stand up, her voice softly trailing."I can't. I can't right now."

"Why?"

"I'm not staying for good." she said with a gloomy expression."I'll be leaving again. Maybe after a month or two. Who knows? I can't risk putting a relationship into something's not secure, indefinite or unstable." she explains.

The brunette's face fell and held a sad emotion.

"Why can't you just stay?"

"Are you kidding me, Carly?" she scoff."This is not where my life is now. My career is in California. I just can't leave everything behind just because I want to have something that's unsecure. What if we broke up again? What then? What will happen to me?"

"Are you sure you can move on with your life without him? Is your career really that important to just leave everything great behind? Sam. Your career is not the only thing that's great. Freddie loves you so much. He waited for you this long. He travels around with you even though he's super busy here because he wants to spend more time with you. What kind of a guy would do that? Only him. You said it yourself, he's the one. He's the only guy who made you feel so loved, secured, cared and whole lot more. Do you think you can find someone like him again? You may lose your job but that's for a while. You're a high rank media personality now. With all your connections you can go back on track whether its in freaking Antartica. But Freddie? He's only one person. Just one Fredward Benson in the world. Even your so called connections can't help you find another him." she shake her head, trying to prove a point."Think about it Sam. It's never too late. And it's not bad to admit that you're scared. Sometimes, even the strongest person gets scared but they still carry on because there's no happiness without pain. There's no success and love without a little sacrifice. It's life. That's life."

Sam bit her lips. Carly knows she pressed a button. Something big. It depends if her blonde of a bestfriend would consider everything she just said. She just wish she would.

* * *

_**A/N: OMG! I am deeply sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long :( you see, something bad happened. Like soo bad. If you guys heard or seen on tv, my country, our country, Philippines just experienced a calamity, leaving dead people, homeless people and whole lot more. I'm actually devastated unto what happened to this past week. Yes. For your info, there was a great flooding that happened that lasted for days. DAYS people. It just so sadenning to see my country falling because of this.**_

_**I hope its a great reason for my sudden MIA. My country is still recovering from the damaged. The university I also attend got pretty much broken because of it but we're helping each other to stand up again :) i just hope for prayers from you guys.**_

_**Anyways, back on the chapter. I hope I satisfied you guys with this chapter. I have an idea where this is heading, although I can't tell you guys how long this will take. And STORY ALERT! the rating will soon CHANGE in RATED M. yup. I'll put lemon/s;) c'mon, what's SEDDIE without some intense, hot and spicy smuts right? :p it just gets the story better, hmm?**_

_**So...I'll be so happy to have you guys review this chapter for me. It will be so cool if you guys suggest some for the next chapter. I'm not really glad about the no. of reviews I get. Although, the no. of views pretty much save you guys the trouble from not reviewing :D**_

_**Alright. I'll shut up now. Just please..please...please. REVIEW!**_

_**BYe :)**_

_**xoxo, ForeverJathan**_

_**P.S: You guys can follow me on twitter its /itsLiLMissAnne**_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: OMGGGGG! I AM SO SO SO SORRY GUYS FOR NOT UPDATING TOO SOON. anyways this is my update :)))))))**

* * *

chapter 7

* * *

General Pov

He shook his head disapprovingly for the third time. The lady in her thirties grimace and hang her head low in defeat. It's the first day of their shooting and he's already having a hard time teaching the actors what to do. The girl they hire to be the lead actress is somewhat a pain in the ass, continuously trying to flirt with the director which is him. He's second into exploding and they haven't started the first scene yet.

The beach was their first setting wherein the two main character will meet halfway. He already asked his crews to set up everything. There were tents -probably four- to keep them sheltered if the weather feels like fucking with them. It's relief that its sunny and he's trying his best to work on with the beach scene to make use of the good weather and knowing Seattle, it won't last long. All he could hope is that his actors would cooperate.

Another reason why he's being grumpy is the lack of Sam's presence. She went out early in the morning saying she has lots of things to do at school and won't be back till afternoon. Of course, he can't just force her to come with them because she's not really a real staff or worker and she's just helping without being paid but still, it would be nice if she's here and maybe he'll enjoy the sight of her lashing out the lead actress' throat.

He quaff down his water from the bottle and pinch the bridge of his nose. They're wasting time, he knows.

"We're wasting time here and it'll be better if you all would participate. I'm in second into losing some patience here and this is just the first day of shooting." he finally spoke."So, if you guys won't mind, I would like to start filming now." he gritted under his teeth.

Lucas, his assistant director grimace at the tone he just use. He can sense that the rest of the day would be pretty bad. He motion for the actors to go to their spot and instruct them on what to do, ripping their scripts out of their grips, he toss it to one of the crews.

"You seem stress." he took a seat next to him, watching the scene roll.

"And you're surprise, why?" Freddie let out a scoff.

"I actually don't know why you keep on insisting to let Margareth play the character. She's obviously a pain."

"I don't have a choice." He sigh exasperatingly."She's the only one who's available for the shooting days and she's willing to do the work."

"Of course she is. The lady have some hots for you." he pat his shoulders suggestively in which he swatted away.

Rolling his eyes he said."We need her for the movie. I can't be picky."

"Point taken." he states, shrugging."Anyways, we're your blonde girlfriend?"

"Sam's not my girlfriend." he mumble."And she's doing something very important."

"How can she not be your girlfriend? That girl is a sexpot man! What are you blind or something?" he laughs and giving him a quizzical look.

"She's my bestfriend...and can we not talk about this? We're in the middle of filming here." he motions to the surrounding and turn his back on him.

He walk towards the Margareth and once she spotted him coming, she immediately flip her hair and pat her clothes then smile widely at him.

"Hey, Freddie." she wave at him, greeting him softly.

He have to roll his eyes on her attempt of flirting. _Is she blind that he's not interested at her? _Man, this girl's very persistent.

He gave her a brief smile, trying not to look very snobby. He adjust his hat and stop between her and her make-up artist.

"I think her make-up's good now. You can leave, please." he said politely and the artist nod before scramming."Alright, Margareth-"

"You can call me Marge for short." she cuts him, running a finger to his forearm.

He grimace and grab her finger before dropping it to her side.

"Alright,_**Marge**__._" He puts an emphasis."This scene is where you're going to meet Leon. You'll walk from there to here where you'll bump at each other, understand?" she nod, staring intently - and creepily - at him."You know your lines, I assume. Okay, we'll start rolling now. Places people! Lights! Camera! Action!" he exclaim, running backwards away from the scene.

It's quite a relief to see Margareth cooperating now, doing what she's been told. She's actually a great actress but sometimes, she can be very annoying that you want to cover her face with a pillow so she'll stop talking. The weather seems very understanding as well and he thank the person above for that.

"Good job guys! Let's take a break, shall we?" he calls. He walk towards the tent, zipping open his bag and retreating another bottle of water. He's very thirsty, it's like water's running out from his body.

"Hey, Freddie." he stop himself from drinking and groan inwardly as he hears the annoying voice of...

"Margareth..I mean, Marge." he force a smile. _What's her problem now?_"Aren't you going to take some lunch or something?" he said, trying everything on the book to make her leave him in peace.

"I'm actually thinking if you mind joining me." obviously trying to flirt with him as she give him a sickening smile that is supposed to seduce him.

"Uh...Marge. I think-" he trails but he saw the flash of the blonde and he quickly called her."Sam!" he sounds relief and at the same time glad.

He wave Marge an excuse and bolt away, skidding over where Sam is. Looking at him funnily, she cross her arms and smirk. He hug her so tight, clinging to her for dear life.

"Whoa! What's with you, dork?" she tried to sound annoyed but she can't help but blush as his arms wrap tightly at her waist.

"Oh, thank Goodness, you're finally here." he gush, pulling away when he heard her clear her throat.

She gave him a raise of an eyebrow and narrow her eyes. He hauled her to the side, looking over his shoulder if they're far from earshot. She wriggle her body, trying to breakfree but his grip was too tight, fingertips burning to her skin.

"What the hell!" she puts a hand on her hips and glare at him.

"I'm sorry. It's just, Marge was being such an annoying sack." he hiss, rolling his eyes animately.

"Marge?"

He let out an exasperated sigh before answering.

"The lead actress." he comb his hair with his fingers and she eyed him intently."She's been driving me nuts. Kept flirting with me and if you hadn't come, I'll probably been dragged to have lunch with her."

She find it amusing seeing him so annoyed about Sam girl which she find quite familiar. She only see him been like this when **she **pisses him off like gluing his textbook under his study table. Looking over his shoulder, she scan the group of people crowding in the tents. She thought for a moment, searching who that girl he's saying.

"The short haired brunette with a yellow sundress." she heard him mumble, probably sensed what she's up to. She nod and saw her, sitting on one of those high chairs, ushering some lady to comb her hair or something.

"Seems your type." he whip his head to her and scrunch his eyebrows. She doesn't need to turn to him to know that she's looking. His silence tells her to continue."You know...brunette, petite and pretty face." she adds."I don't think you need to ran away from her." And with last words, she turn to her heel and walk back where the crews are, leaving him with a dumbfounded look.

_What does she mean by that?_

It's not that she's jealous or something because she knows she's waaay better than that _Marge._ The thing is, she couldn't stand the idea other girls flirting with him and it seems like they're all pretty ladies and...a brunette and we all know that Freddie has a thing for brunettes based from his long years of being a puppy to Carly.

He watch her as she walks far from him, a _"what just happened" _look, obviously confused. Shaking his head, he thought of talking to her later.

* * *

Freddie's Pov

I watch from my seat as Sam - as expected - growled in frustration as she directs the whole cast on what to do. We're on the street of downtown Seattle, which is very crowded especially when it's a working day. We have to ask for permission to shoot the scene here and work on the equipments so it won't bother people. The police enforcers even helped us and put a restriction sign to keep the fans far from the main scene.

I look in amusement as I saw the look of horror and probably, fear on Marge - mostly her - and the other cast member as they are being instruct by Sam. I had seen Sam a few times directing her own casts on her shows and movies and I must say, she's really professional when it comes to work. She jokes and goofs around with her casts and crews but when the camera starts rolling, that's when you'll see the different type of Sam: Scarier and Meanier. Her threats are upgraded. They're not the usual empty threats but it has meaning behind it. Dedication is what I can say when it comes to her work. For her, work is **work**. If she starts saying "_Action!" _, it's game faces or else you'll be humiliated big time. Her way of managing her production is what I copy. It really works and it makes people take you more seriously. I must say, her means of work is beyond surprising and applauding to most people like me, it's quite inspiring and I know that it takes a lot of self-discipline and responsibility as a person as well.

I thought of whether I should just sit here and watch her soon to strangle the casts or I should stand up, walk towards them and see what's going on. I chose the latter part.

Grabbing my copy of scripts, I march my way towards them where they are at the other side of the street near the traffic light. I hear faint voices from a far and soon I can actually make out what she's saying and with the help of her hand gestures.

"...from here you'll walk to the other side of the street. You don't have any lines to say but atleast try to act out more. I want to see facial expressions, heavy facial expressions while you're walking because you've known the whole story about Paul...then you'll go to the small cafe. I'll discuss the others when you finished this routine."

I walk to her side and she glance to me for awhile before giving her attention back to them.

"...Alright. I think we can start again." she turn to me and raise her eyebrow."Do you want to add something before we start?" she asked.

"I think you've said enough. Just be serious everyone. I hate to repeat this simple scene over and over again. Let's all act as professionals." I clap my hands and motion for the camera men to start rolling on my cue."Get ready!" I led Sam back to where I was sitting and calls out."Lights! Camera! Scene 14. Adrienne's walking to the street. Take 1. ACTION!"

* * *

General Pov

"That was a good wrap people! Good Job!"

The staffs and the casts smile approvingly and continue to pack their things: the tents, tables, chairs, cables, lights and etc.

He turn around and is face to face with Sam who's looking at him in approval, hands on her hips and her famous _Puckett Smirk _plastered on her face.

"I must say, it was a good wrap."

"I couldn't have done it without you." he say in modesty, darting his weight from one foot to another.

"Nah. It's all you, Benson."

He chuckle humorously and shrug.

"So...how's your teaching program?" he ask as they began to walk to the sandy shore, waves and waves splash towards them, soaking their slipper-clad feet.

It is one of the most fine weather Seattle can offer. The weather definitely is agreeing to them this time. The sun is soon to be down, blazing yellow-orange color on the wide ocean. It's the most serene piece ever.

"They're starting to make me be fond of 'em and I hate it." she say, making a very adorable pout, sticking her bottom lip out.

He shook his head in amusement. Only Sam Puckett would hate the feeling of actually liking people. Of course, what else should he be surprise at? He's been dealing with her for years and it takes her also years to actually admit the fact that she harbors feeling for him and that is saying something.

"I think it's a good thing."

"Of course you would think that. You're a sapy nub." she remarks.

"I may be sappy but you gotta admit, you love me for being sappy." and the words came out from his lips without him stopping it.

_Oh, shit._

Blush creep to her neck to her cheeks and she lower her face so that her hair will hide her embarrassing blush. She will never let that dork see him in this state.

_How dare he say that forbidden word that starts with the forbidden letter L?! _

For a moment he was scared that she might punch him in the gut for saying those kind of words but now that he thought about it...maybe he should've said it a little earlier. It's not a bad thing to start. It might help him fix everything, the complications and confusions he's been suffering since the day he met her, kiss her for the first time, help her get out of the mental institution, kiss her live on the web, dating her, kissing her every time there's an opportunity because she was his, him saying the L word to her for the first time, when they broke up and now that she's finally standing again beside him after a long time she's been gone away from them...from _him._

He needs to step up his game if he wants her to stay. Someone should do the first move or they're going to _nowhere _and it's not his actual plan at all.

"I'm really glad you're back."

She bite the inside of her cheeks, one of the many habits she do when she's feeling uneasy and nervous. She didn't dare to look up to him.

_Why would I? I'll be lost in his beautiful warm eyes and its going to be endgame for me._

"Yeah."

She can see his feet stop in tracks and she halt herself as well. He turn to her, burning holes to the side of her face and if her face isn't burned enough with blush, now it is.

He dare to touch her...cup her chin and lift it gently so she's eye level to him. He stare lovingly and with longing deep in her eyes.

_I love you._

It says and it breaks her heart that she can't do anything to say it back.

_I can't._

Her eyes are pained, mirroring his but he's good at trying to mask it. He needs to be the dominant because obviously, the toughest girl he's known for life has left the building and is now hiding.

The pad of his thumb brush her cheeks softly. She longed for his touch and she can't help but lean to his touch, closing her eyes lightly to savor the feeling.

"Stop running from me."

"I have to."

"I don't want you to." he murmurs softly to her."Sam, I lo-"

"Freddie.." she trails, pleading because God knows she can't handle it. It will be very hard and she doesn't want to hurt him anymore.

Shaking his head, he did not acknowledge her plea and continue, letting his heart take over his mouth.

"I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

iStill Love You

chapter 8

General Pov

_"I love you."_

Her heart pounds so hard inside her ribcage she thinks it might jump out of her body. Her mind is foggy and suddenly she feels nauseated, lump starts to form in her throat.

_Do I run? _

Her mind is blank. She's rooted in her spot and all she can do is stare at him as he stare back, obviously waiting for her to speak but she's too off-guard.

He's searching thoroughly something in her eyes, reading her facial expression. He feels like he's wrong for a moment there but then again, he should've done it for a long time. He have no idea until when she's going to stay here and he's dreading for that day to come. He wants to fix everything between them and today is the perfect time to do it.

Sounds of the splashing of water and the small chattering of people back in the place where they left them, - not far away from them but enough for them to have their privacy - are the things they can hear.

His eyes bores to her, asking...pleading.

_'Sam..say something please.'_

She close her eyes, refraining for the tear to drop down her eyes. It's so hard...so...so unexpecting. She's not ready for this. She knows she'll eventually have to deal with it but she didn't expect it to be today of all times. This is the reason why she had those doubts about flying back here. She doesn't want to deal with all of these.

_What am I going to say? He completely caught me off-guard. I'm utterly speechless and he's anticipating for me to speak! His eyes...oh his deep pools of warm chocolate orbs that just melts my insides with just one look...is staring at me! Why does he hate me? Oh yeah, he doesn't. He just told me he loves me...Oh My God! He told me he loves me! What am I going to do now?!_

Finally she decide to do something. She grab the hand that's on her cheek and hold it down between them. He seems alarm and he grips her hand tightly as if she's going to slip away.

_Oh how I miss the feel of his hand beneath my palms._

"Freddie..." I start, taking a big gulp of air before continuing."Please..don't do this."

"Wha-"

"Can you please let me talk first?" he nod."You do know that I'm already based in California and...I'm just here because of work and I'm going back soon. I don't think that it'll do any help for the both of us if we...you know...do this." _Why is this so hard? _

"What are you saying?"

"This thing between us..." she points between the two of them with her free hand."...it can't be. It's not going somewhere."

He shake his head feverently, not happy to hear her words. He already said it...done it and he will not let her ruin everything just because she's worried that it won't work.

"Do you love me?"

There. Another burn in her heart. How the hell did he become so..so blunt? Why is he even asking? She knows it's the question that can totally make her give in. She's already vulnerable.

"Freddie..."

"Sam. You hardly speak and everything you said are just big fucking excuses. I want to hear what you really feel. I want you to speak from your heart because I'm done saying what I feel. Do you think it's easy for me to do this? I'm close into passing out because being able to hold you like this...touch you...be this close to you is enough to melt me." he sigh and let his head hang low."You're not the only one who's scared...but here I am. I'm trying because I want to fix this. Because I want you. I need you. I love you. And I don't want to lose you again."

His grip tightens, holding her like she's going to slip through his fingers. It aches her to see him like this. He looks so small like little boy asking...begging to be given some food.

She **wants **him too. She **needs **him too. She **loves **him too.

Nothing has changed. All these years, her heart beats only for him. His name is the only word her heart screams. She cherishes every single time..moment he's with her in California. Whenever he visits her or call her. She pretends like nothing changed. Like they're still dating because it hurt her less.

She hates seeing him like this. It pained her when she first left to study in New York and now this. It's too much.

She tilt his chin up with her finger, their eyes meeting in an intense gaze. His eyes hold hope and faith as it bores to her.

"Nothing changed." she murmurs softly.

"Sam...I need you to tell me exactly what you really feel. Do even want to fix this?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you love me?"

"I..."

"Sam.." his voice sounds desperate and needy.

"I love you." she murmurs softly.

There! She said it. It feels like a ton of bricks was lifted away her shoulders and she could breathe again normally.

He can't help but feel butterflies flying around his stomach as he adore hearing her say those beautiful words that are meant just for him. Only him.

"I love you too." he caress her cheeks lovingly."And if you'll let me fix this. I know we can make it work."

"How can you be so sure?" her voice soft and full of fear.

"Because it's us. We're Sam and Freddie. We may be far from normal but we always manage to make it work because we love each other. We've been broken up and still our feeling's never changed. We're destined. Soulmates."

"You never pass an opportunity not to make a very cheesy remark." she smirk.

"Because you make me feel so cheesy." he grin then his expression turn seriously."I mean it Sam. We'll make it work this time."

She roll her eyes but her lips are forming a smile same as him. Despite all her protest of how hopeless romantic he is, he knows she loves a little of cheesiness.

* * *

I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR BAILING ON YOU GUYS! IT's just a lot as happened and college is soo hard. I can't find time to squeeze in uploading this story and before i don't own a computer but now i own a tablet so i'll try my very to tend all your needs. Anyways, this chapter has been sitting on my cellphone and now it's finally here :-) i hope you guys forgive me...

REVIEWS PLEASE!


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